[Serious]Trans people of reddit, what was the biggest change you noticed between being treated as one sex vs the other?

1. MTF. Affection/expression is a big one. Around female coworkers and friends, everyone is much more open about their problems. It's like there's a natural affinity that everyone shares. Around male coworkers and friends, I find it's harder to confide in each other, and the only time it happens is when you are with someone that is very close. Even with really close/childhood friends, it's rare amongst my guy friends to open up. I don't consider myself someone who likes to be intimate. I like to bottle things up and be by myself. But the first time I came out to another girl, crying and hugging out all my pent-up emotions is nothing I found or had with my male friends. Edit: PMing me discriminative terms under throwaways is a waste of time. There are better things to do then sulk under the idea of me being different.
   — RhythmicalBeats


2. Trans woman here, the way men speak to me is crazy different. Way more friendly and if I didn't know better, I'd say almost flirty. Now I'm not attractive as a guy or a woman, and a lot of my interactions are online, so it's not that. People assume I know less about my job than I do (software development), but are much more accepting of my skills than I thought, people just act way more surprised if I know some obscure function or language. In my work life, people also seem a bit more tolerant if I make a mistake, which is quite annoying as I need to learn from them. People are more likely to explain something to Me, even if I try to explain I already know the thing. I'll be talked over more. In public, women will smile at me more, men don't move out of the way when walking, taxi drivers are a bit more polite, but also talk less. I haven't yet experienced anything different when being obviously in a relationship with my girlfriend. We hold hands sometimes, cuddle up on the bus if it's cold, and will hug/kiss in public. Its odd because people naturally assume we're friends, rather than assuming we're dating. Other things could also be due to the fact I'm getting more confident and happy with myself. Being gendered correctly is an amazing feeling, so I want to be out of the house more. I'm happier with myself and I'm sure that comes across too. These changes I've noticed aren't 100% consistent or everyday, they're maybe not as extreme as they sound but they are very noticeable.
   — sudojess


3. FtM here. More bro fists, pats on the back, lots of "dude", "man" and "bro" thrown into the mix. Been on T about 8 months now, pass in public while wearing my binder. Thanks god for the cooler months coming up, wearing a binder in summer is no joke. Other than that,not much change other than my own self becoming more comfortable with my body and thus being more extroverted and willing to get out of the house. Hair sprouting everywhere makes me pretty happy and I like to show off my sad scraggle stache to my buds.
   — JackSFletcher






4. FtM here. People are kinda surprised now when I express emotions, and it's annoying. I also get taken more seriously in most conversations, even if I don't really know what I'm talking about. Girls are less inclined to open up to me now, too, and I understand why but I miss being the person people trusted like that.
   — transandpans


5. I'm MtF, early 20's, pass pretty well, and am considered to be conventionally attractive (although I often don't see it myself). Women treat me basically the same. I was always "one of the girls" anyways, so I'm not very surprised by women. I have noticed that I get randomly complimented by strangers fairly often even though I dress pretty andro and don't wear makeup. I never used to get compliments, so I'm always very awkward about it. Men act way way differently now. In general, they are so much more polite, kind, gentle, and considerate of my feelings. On the flipside, old men can be creepy as fuck and really patronising, middle aged men tend to be a bit sexist, and guys who are 30 and below can be kind of sexually aggressive (or maybe I'm just shy. idk). I am really surprised by how often guys are fine with openly expressing their attraction to me. Either I pass really well, or they just don't care that I'm trans. Either way, I'm cool with it. The worst change is that when I'm having a bad day, people will inevitably tell me to smile. I fucking hate that. Edited some words/phrasing.
   — Enduromatic


6. FtM here. I'm a college professor and I see a real difference in how my students treat me. They don't expect me to be nearly as "nice," make exceptions, give extra credit, etc. I'm the same person I always was, but now I'm held to a more lenient standard. I've also noticed that they make up fewer tech-related excuses (I *did* send it to you; the email must have gotten lost!) than before, which I find really insulting since it means that they apparently thought female me was a dumbass.
   — nezumipi