Redditors who are or have been married, what is the best advice you could impart on someone who is about to get married?

1. Try not to get caught up in all the wedding planning and lose sight of the fact that you're actually marrying this person, hopefully "forever". Are you more excited about being married to them, or more excited about the wedding and the party? Once the excitement of being newlyweds wears off, you're "just another married couple". Is this *really* the person you want to spend every day married to? Are they *really* the person you (maybe) want to have children with? Being married to the right person is heaven. Being married to the wrong person is hell. Choose wisely.
   — smilebreathe


2. Talk to each other. Communication is key. Learn to fight well. Don't be mean... remember that you're on the same side. Choose to live each other every day. Find your "couple thing" and do it/say it consistently. Sex helps, but it's not everything.
   — Jls_AMDG


3. This year is my 30th anniversary. My one piece of advice is to do the damn dishes. More fights start over dirty dishes than you will believe. Also, pair the socks for bonus points.
   — exixx






4. “Make sure you plan your marriage, not just your wedding.” That is probably the best advice I have received.
   — triciamuffin


5. If your relationship is in trouble already, or you're having doubts, a marriage certificate is not going to fix it. Make sure you're getting married for the right reasons.
   — QueenDiva9


6. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Said another way: hate is a form of caring. Sometimes you will hate each other. Alot. But you still care. EDIT: Source: married 34+ years.
   — AssesOfEvil






7. You know how on an airplane, they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others? That's because you're no good to anyone if you're passed out. Your relationship, your marriage, is now the oxygen mask for both partners; it's the thing that needs to be taken care of before anything else. Including and perhaps primarily children if you choose to have them. Every life choice, however large or small should be done in the context of how it supports the *relationship*, including the individual needs of the two partners. Honestly, if both people approach the marriage this way, it makes making decisions a lot easier.
   — mojave_moon


8. Poet Ogden Nash said "To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up."
   — LedZebulon


9. Skip the wedding and elope. This one weird trick instantly brings you five years closer to saving up for your down payment.
   — 486921






10. Don't assume you always have to do everything together, or share the same hobbies. It's actually very healthy to have very different interests. My wife is a big academic nerd (she's published a few books). I've never read any of them (too high brow for me) but we've been together 18 years, married for 10 and we still love each other like when we first started seeing each other :)
    — Sexy_times_with_goat


11. Despite everyone saying: *Everything will change after you get married* Nothing fucking changes. But to make it last, you will have to do some work, a lot of compromise, and try not to have any secrets - it's fucking liberating that you don't have to hide anything from her/him.
    — dj_2_different_socks


12. Things will change. Just roll with it and always remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place. They'll be things that you learn about each other and not all of those will be good, but nobody's perfect. Oh, and never stop trying!
    — techboy01






13. the first ten years are the hardest. seriously. be prepared to compromise and forgive. spend plenty of time apart.
    — questionable2


14. Learn to compromise, this will keep your marriage safe. Compromise is about doing deals, a good deal is where neither party is totally happy but both parties are somewhat happy. There, that's it! Source 24 years together.
    — Donnakebabmeat