Redditors who choose to cut off your family: why did you do it?

1. I was always the one to make contact, try to talk. One day I decided I was going to wait for them to call me this time. They never called. It's been 8 years.
   — Helpful_Elf


2. Less than half an hour after my mother died, my great aunt told me I had no right to be in the room with her body because I am a drama queen who never truly loved my mom. I was 15 years old. That's not something you say to a kid who lost a parent. I am way better off without that toxicity. I am lonely, but safe.
   — Heavy_In_Your_Arms


3. My friend came forward about her father molesting her for years as a kid. Her sister said it happened to her too. The mom filed for divorce. Police were called, statements made, and he was arrested. Then, both the mom and the sister decided they didnt want to face reality and acted like my friend had made the whole thing up (despite the father even admitting his crimes to the police). So my friend said "Nope" and cut all communication with them and has moved on with her life as best she can.
   — dssx






4. I didn't totally cut them off but I moved across the continent and refuse to visit. My mom said that if I wasn't her child she would want nothing to do with me so I don't initiate contact with her. I just don't see the point in maintaining a relationship where you don't want one.
   — sikkerhet


5. Posted on another post. Serving in Iraq, family didn't bother telling me my Mother had died, found out via an email two weeks after funeral. Time I got home, they had divided all of her possessions, I got a brown envelope with 4 pictures of her in there. Got up and left, never went back. Married a girl from overseas, try to get her a visa, my Aunt finds out, sends letter to embassy stating that I'm an unsavoury character, and that the marriage was most likely a scam. Visa denied, I'm now leaving the country.
   — Boat1690


6. I cut my father out of my life many years ago. God, I could write an entire book on all the fucked up shit he did. I'll summarize: he was physically/sexually/mentally abusive, a raging narcissist and drug abuser (he took anything and everything), and was mercifully absent for large chunks of my childhood. Here are some notable occurrences: * He beat me with a removable cord for an electric skillet while his neighbor sat and watched. Then he smacked me in the face because, in his words, "I didn't think the beating hurt you enough." My transgression? Talking back to my mom (she used to send us to his house when we acted out). * He beat my stepmom with a [metal studded belt](http://www.hottopic.com/product/three-row-pyramid-belt/107348-005.html?CM_MMC=CSE-_-GGL-_-Accessories-_-1_9999W1_CSE_GGL_Accessories_107348&mr:referralID=430d02ec-a2df-11e7-9798-0050569406b5&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9afOBRDWARIsAJW4nvyYgTtnWQHePQx1RX2ew6iMZ6qGFqwVSVj_NL7L-7CuUzanJ5yqS3MaAnn4EALw_wcB) in front of me and my younger half-brothers. I don't remember why. * One of my brothers found some kittens that seemed to have been abandoned and brought them home. My father got pissed for some reason and threw one of them against the wall and killed it. * He drugged and raped my sister. Repeatedly. No, he was never reported to the police for these or any other incidents, and the statute of limitations has long since passed. My sister didn't tell me her story until a few months ago...I had no idea. I feel so guilty that I never saw the signs. She had a rough few years but she's moved past it, so at least there's a happy ending.
   — Song_of-Storms






7. I haven't talked to my mom in over 9 years now. It sucks but I've been much happier ever since I made that decision. When I was growing up she was always the type that instead of providing any sort of encouragement she would embarrass you as motivation. She would point at homeless people and say that's what I would become if I didn't work hard enough. I remember when I was playing piano she would tell all her friends that she wanted me to know how to play so I could as least play on the streets for money. When I had a recital at school there was a piece that I kind of blanked out on so I had to do that thing where you back track in the song and play it really quick to remember the song. It was obvious that I messed up though. Afterwards my mom told me she was so embarrassed that she wanted to leave. The breaking point is when I was trying to apply for dental school. I was having a hard time with the DATs(MCAT version for dentist) and I had just taken it and got a bad score. I came home not feeling so great and my mom asked me how I did. I told her not that well and she looked and me and said, "See? I knew you couldn't do it." She forced me to sign up for it again and low and behold I did poorly again. This time I wanted to just avoid any contact with my mom so I made sure to leave the house before she woke up and came home after she went to bed. During this time I had gotten a speeding ticket but I paid it off in secret. What I didn't realize is that a bunch of driving schools will mail you brochures to take their course to get the points off your license. My mom found out and she called me immediately. What my mom didn't know if that I was in the car with all my friends and I put her on speaker when she started screaming, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? JUST DROP OUT OF SCHOOL AND BAG GROCERIES. STOP WASTING EVERYBODYS TIME". Ever since that day I decided to just not talk to my mom. There's actually a bunch more to the story but fast forward 9 years and I've completed dental school and in my last year of orthodontic residency. I hear from her co workers how often she brags about my accomplishments and how proud she is of me. Some part of me wishes our relationship was better but I always go back to thinking that it was too little too late.
   — MechZZ


8. My immediate family cut off pretty much every member of my father's side of the family (with the exception of 3 people). Several years back, while my father was dying, we desperately needed help. Some financial, but otherwise just emotional support. We were losing my father. But they didn't care. Some of them even went out of their way to screw us over. And when he was nearing death's door, one of the worst of them called us up, all worried, about arranging my father's last rites. First off, everyone knew my father was not religious and didn't want that. And second, you didn't give a damn about him before, but now you're worried about his immortal soul? Fuck off. We actually had to warn the care home about this relative potentially sneaking in a priest, and we also spoke with a close friend who was a priest himself, who wrote said relative a letter that (politely) told him to fuck off. They can all rot for all I care. They made me ashamed to share the same last name.
   — Kii_at_work


9. My mum was a bitch. She was emotionally abusive and neglectful my whole life. She only had kids for the benefits. My brother was 18 months younger than me but because he was taller she would often mix up our ages. She often mixed mine and my sisters names up. I hated her for years but I finally cut her out when I was 19. My Dad died from cancer just before my birthday. In an argument, when she tried to convince me my sister is a prostitute (she's not) my mum used my Dads recent death to try and hurt me. I walked out of her house and haven't seen her since. I'm 24 now and when I meet new people I just tell them both my parents died.
   — I-miss-my-cow






10. I don't speak with my mother. She allowed me to be abused by her boyfriend when I was little. She was messed up on pills. Whenever she left the house I'd beg her to take me with her and she never did. I tried to form a bond in my adult life but she kept bringing up the past when I told her not to. And then I cut all ties.
    — krys678


11. My mother is a drugged out, alcoholic, whore-monger that basically had zero positive impact on my life. Didn't have the courage to cut her out of my life (fear of triggering another suicide attempt - 3 to date) until I had kids of my own. I love my children and they will not be witness to the same things I've seen. I feel no remorse. And anyone else living with such toxicity in their lives; there is no shame in cutting ties with family members. Protect yourselves and find a way out.
    — omnomnosaurus


12. My wife's uncle was always an irresponsible man-child, but the last straw was when he took money from his mother's/her grandmother's purse right after she died, like when the body was still warm. She hasn't had any contact with him since the funeral.
    — PenisBeautyCream