What's something you joked would never happen but then actually happened?

1. When I was getting certified for first aid, I was asking my uncle (a fire fighter & EMT) to help me with CPR. He laughed that if I ever had to do CPR on him, he would die. Two years later, he had a massive heart attack. I gave him CPR. He died. Yes, I was thinking about his "joke" while it was happening.
   — good_sandlapper


2. When I was 18, there was a co-worker that was balding. He was only 23 and a nice guy so I don't know why I said: "Jesus Christ! And, you are already going bald???" Because, hey, I'll never lose hair that fast, right? Yeah, I had to start shaving my head by my 21st birthday because Karma is a bitch.
   — one_ugly_dude


3. My mother and father both, independently, swore that they would never marry a theology major. While attending school together. Both majoring in theology...
   — InsideJokeQRD






4. Didn't think I could hold a job but here I am working 14 hrs a day and still hanging in there. Kill me.
   — _Squirrel_Fucker


5. Used to joke I’d never meet up with my online buds, because of how awkward it’d be, until I did. Definitely worth it!
   — PM_UR_NUDES_4_RATING


6. I once joked “it must be a bitch to be allergic to a certain type of food.” Two years later I was diagnosed with celiac disease.
   — Rockfan180






7. *The emoji movie* and *Shrek 5*
   — ItsMyB1rthdayToday


8. I once made the joke back in middle school that if i wanted to rob a bank, i would send a bomb threat to the school to distract the cops. Fast forward to highschool, just that very thing happened. They got away clean for about 3 days until they robbed another bank in a nearby town.
   — usernames_r_stoopid


9. I used to joke about how ghetto the area I live in was, and how we’d get broken into. Last month my door got kicked down and our dog got shot while I was home.
   — pooopy66






10. Was terrified of needle growing up. Swore I would kill myself if I ever had to use needles. Am now diabetic. (It’s actually not too bad- the needles are teeny tiny)
    — Zuzublue


11. Getting a 9-5 job and being miserable as an adult
    — 2smart4u


12. Two of my friends were arguing who was going to pay for lunch on that day. They decided to decide it with a coin flip with me as the referee. After assigning heads and tails to the respective parties, I jokingly added, "and if the coin stands on its side then I will pay for lunch." Well, the coin did end up standing on its side thanks to the ground being wet.
    — walee1






13. I don't know how widespread it is, but most companies around here give gifts at certain milestones to reward company loyalty. Employees who have been with the company for 1/3/5/10/15 years, etc. are allowed to choose a reward from a catalogue. I was hired at a company that was being sold to another company to aid with the transition. It was a difficult process and all award programs were cancelled until the transition was complete so I never received my 1 year award. The program was reinstated less than a month after my milestone had passed. By year 3 the company was in dire straights. They overleveraged themselves to buy our original company and the creditors were knocking at the door. Shortly before my 3 year milestone award all discretionary spending was cut back to the bone and the award program was cancelled. Shortly before my 5 year award was due, our division was sold to another company. The new buyers reinstated the award program, but again it was slightly too late for me and I never received my award. After I'd been with the company for 8 years, I began joking around that everybody should update their resumes. We were due to be sold again because it was almost time for me to actually receive a gift. Everybody had a good laugh because through all of the temporary cancellations I was the only person on the team who had never received a gift of any sort. Wouldn't you know it. At 9.5 years, the company announced they were selling our division to yet another company. My whole team got wiped away and only 2 people from my original tem were retained after the buyout. The program was actually continued during the transition though so after 10 years I finally got my reward! At 10 years I got a fairly nice cookware set!
    — CrowdScene


14. When I got to my first naval command one of my chiefs was talking about when he was at sea he was near Alaska in the winter and the ship’s hot water wasn’t working. So he worked in the freezing cold on the flight deck all day, then had to take an ice cold shower, then sleeping in a cold room. I thought to myself “I’m glad that’ll probably never happen to me. Then outside Korea in the winter my ship’s hot water went out so I went through the exact same situation and it was every bit as horrible as I’d hoped it wouldn’t be
    — TVA_Titan


15. I use to joke at work when I looked tired that I would catch up my sleep on the drive home.... then I fell asleep at the wheel and slammed head on into a semi truck.
    — ochotyler