What's the weirdest rumour you've heard about yourself?

Teachers always get the best rumors about themselves. I have been the "father" of about ten students over the years. I have been brother, husband, son to a female teacher on campus. Once I was covered from head to toe in tattoos, but only where my cloths didn't cover. I once killed a guy in self-defense. I was a secret millionaire. You name it, the students have thought I was it and shared the story.
— Spodson

In high school I had to call 911 for my mother, who was having a medical emergency. The school bus that runs though my neighborhood got stuck behind the ambulance, which was blocking the street. The next day of school, I found out a rumor had spread that I'd snapped and killed my family 0.0
— Miki_Kristiansen

When I was a senior in high school I didn’t make the dance team after being on it since 7th grade. It was all very political. That night I cut up my uniform into little pieces while sobbing. I put all the pieces in a bag in my closet and I told one close friend. She proceeded to tell most of the dance team and somehow the story became I cut up the uniform and threw it in my coach’s face. Things got even more dramatic because the story got back to the coach. A team mom called me and pretended not to know the story and just happened to mention that I needed to return my uniform or I would be charged $150. The thing was, they didn’t track the uniforms at all so there was no way they knew I had it. Luckily another (better) friend had her old uniform in the same size. Nobody knew due to the lack of tracking so she gave it to me. When I handed it in it was the most satisfying feeling. Those bitches were so surprised to see the uniform in one piece.
— emoknapsack

I was 18 when I had my first relationship, so I went through a couple of years in high school without one. Someone started a rumour that I was gay, and that this was the reason of me never dating a girl. $ In truth, I was just outright horrible with girls at the time. $ My best friends found this hilarious and they confirmed the rumour everywhere they went, making it even harder for me to find a girl to date. All worked out in the end though.
— ehamo

I recently discovered that people at my secondary (high) school thought I was dead. The truth is that I was rushed to hospital (appendix) during my final exam week. Since that was the end of school, and I moved to a different town immediately after I'd recovered, it became "common knowledge" that I was brown bread.
— moon_monkey

"He mows the lawn naked." Um, gym shorts and a tank top is not naked.
— FredericHerbert

In high school people believed that I had six toes. I don't even know who thought that up and why they were thinking about my toes.
— mikkeldaman

In high school a got a rep as a snitch for calling the cops on a party I didn't even know was happening. I have called the police exactly once in my life and it was six years after I supposedly did this, and it was to report a hit-and-run when a dude drifted his car into a *building*.
— TheLemurian

When I was in HS there was a rumor going around that some kid wanted to beat me up. I had honestly never even talked to this dude, much less started shit with him. I finally "confronted" him about it and he said he had heard the rumor too, but that it was bullshit. We're still good friends to this day, and to this day neither of us know who started the rumor or why.
— meltedlaundry

I had shingles when I was a kid, and missed a couple of weeks of school. One of my friends told everyone that the shingles had made me go blind, everyone believed him, even the teacher. The entire class made me condolence cards and get well soon cards expressing how sad they were that I couldn't see any more... This confused me and my parents a great deal.
— uncle_monty

That I came to England in the back of a lorry (truck). Also I was so good at maths, people rumoured that I was related to Einstein, because I had an Austrian great-great-grandfather (even though he's German ffs).
— Scorpan45

I used to work in a secondary school, and there was a rumour among the kids that over the summer, I traveled to the US to fight The Undertaker. I do do professional wrestling, so I can see where it came from, but it's still rather far-fetched. Still, I didn't exactly discourage the rumour.
— THE_LOUDEST_PENIS

Not once, but twice. In two separate schools, I was accused by a student that I had a hit list set out on the other students and teachers. Of course I didn't. First time was when some nitwit in my class was talking loudly about it, then directed my attention to himself. I told him "if you wanted such a list, you'd have to pry it from my dead fingers." Rumors kept going in the background, but nothing else happened. Second time, the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) got involved, and I ended up in a room with 2 officers, my principal, orientation teacher, and my parents. I was asked 2 questions by an officer and was told I could go back to class, cause they had nothing.
— Oh_No_My_Salt

How about started about myself? I took a job a few years back that was very heavily dominated by females (assisted living. I did maintenance, all the nurses, cooks, aides, etc. were female). Almost immediately, rumors started flying that I was sleeping with someone. Once that finally blew over, I was apparently suddenly sleeping with someone else. Both of these girls were friends and I was also friends with their husbands, so obviously not a good situation for the girls or myself. One day I am talking to one of the housekeepers, who I knew had the biggest mouth of anyone there, and "confided" in her that I was gay. That rumor spread like wildfire and by the next day I was the gay maintenance guy. I let that one ride for almost a year because it immediately stopped the drama and it was *fabulous.* Edit: I know this thread has died down, but here's a pic I posted on facebook to kinda help seal the deal. Enjoy! https://i.imgur.com/vUB7wik.jpg
— cn2092

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