(Serious) parents of really smart kids who never really went anywhere in life, what advice would you pass on to similar young people now?

1. My daughter is exceptionally intelligent, was invited to join MENSA and attend their school. We decided against it but come into contact with other parents ‘gifted’ children and have seen several go off the rails. A) Don’t keep telling your child they’re extraordinary. They’re not. All you’re doing is feeding their ego which can lead to them being lazy, or creating impossible standards that they feel they can never achieve. I’ve seen so many of these kids get behind in their studies and drop out because they think they’re above it all, and at least half of them suffer from severe anxiety disorders (my daughter included.) B) Let them live. Not all kids wants to spend 8 hours a day playing the violin. Not all kids wants to do 6 hours of homework a night. Allow them hobbies that aren’t related to furthering their education, but are purely for enjoyment. C) Let them manage their own time, they don’t need their parents micromanaging every second of their life. D) Let them have friends that they choose. Let them socialise and spend their weekends doing things they enjoy. No kid wants to have friends hand-picked by their parents because they’re their ‘equals,’ they want friends that they can have fun with. Who cares if their friends aren’t MENSA candidates? If you’re so obsessed with other children’s IQs you need to see a professional immediately, that’s creepy. E) Teach your child failure in a supportive environment. They will still have struggles in their learning, and it can be a shock when they find a subject they don’t naturally excel at. When their self-identity is based around being super-smart, it can be devastating to fail at something. Teach your kid that it’s absolutely ok to not be a genius at everything and teach them to laugh when things go wrong. Last year a student we knew committed suicide because she failed a maths test for the first time ever. F) Be prepared. Some kids are exceptional until they’re not. They grow up, the other kids catch up, and they’re suddenly just average. This is why it’s so important to raise your child well-rounded. G) Get a life. No, seriously. Don’t live vicariously through your kid. Your kids achievements are not yours. Your kid is intelligent through genes, not your parenting. It’s ok to be proud of your kids achievements but it’s not ok to find self-validation through their achievements. Your kid is a person, not an extension of you. H) Finally, be aware that your kid may not want to be the person you invision for them. Telling your kid they’re going to be a surgeon doesn’t make them want to be a surgeon. They may want to be a musician, or an artist, or a chef, or work in retail, or work in a bar, and that’s THEIR CHOICE. You give your kids the tools to survive, it’s up to them how they utilise them. Be proud of whatever path they take.
   — FrankieLeeG


2. Please know that some people, albeit smarter than average, don't have a calling. It's ok to settle for a decent job that you don't hate and pursue your other interests on the way.
   — Sf4tt


3. Don't ever believe you are too good to keep learning. There's always new things to learn even if you don't feel challenged by what you're doing right now (in school, or wherever). It doesn't matter what it is. Keep learning.
   — petuniathemurderef






4. I always hear on reddit that kids who are seen as smart when young then find they level out among their peers as they get older find it's because they've learnt to coast on their 'talent', aka they didn't learn how to learn, and put in the work/study/practice. Help them set up good study habits. Edit: Well this might be my highest rated comment even, and wtf to waking up to 148 messages from comment chain?
   — TheMiseryChick


5. There have been studies that link high intelligence with a greater risk of developing mental health conditions. Being aware of that and knowing the signs can mean you get help a lot faster, hopefully before mental health issues start to have life changing effects and derail plans and ambitions.
   — hissyhissy


6. Don't coast on your smarts. People get ahead by working hard and being good with people, not by doing the bare minimum to get by.
   — cookiemakedough






7. Mine wouldn't be to the kids, it would be to the parents. Learning is a lifelong venture. It never stops. Don't burn your kid out when they're learning about complex emotions, social interactions, their place in the world. Guide them towards wisdom, not just knowledge. Also, kindness matters.
   — OneMoarStitch


8. Persistence is worth more than knowledge or intelligence.
   — Tokugawa


9. Stop telling kids they are smart. Credit their hard work. I remember absolutely giving up after struggling with advanced algebra. It was my first learning barrier and I was in 9th grade. I knew I wasn't as smuart as people said because I was failing. Truth is, I became a stats major in my PhD program. I am really good at math, I just attributed it to natural talent, not work ethic. It took a very long time to accept that having to work hard is not a sign of being stupid. Edit: a day without internet and this blew up. Thank you friends. I look forward to replying and thank you for the guilding!
   — sjgw137