Fathers of Reddit: What advice would you give to a man becoming a first time father?

1. Read to your kids. I remember my dad reading to me before bed and it’s some of the best memories I have.
   — armada_of_armadillos


2. Get into a routine and schedule with kids. Ie naps eating bedtime etc. People think you are just being strict by holding to these schedules but what they don't understand is the kids learn to depend on the predictability of their day and it creates a less stressful environment for the kids and then ultimately you. Speaking from experience, do this and start early it does wonders.
   — blindlybrowsing


3. You will for a few months be totally sidelined and forgotten, everything will be about the baby and mom. You should do everything else that isn't baby related, cooking, cleaning etc and ease the stress. Changing diapers is not nice but something you can do and soon get used to. The dynamics do slowly shift with time though and you'll soon be used as a human trampoline at 5am on a Sunday morning.
   — Hamsternoir






4. I was a new dad 17 months ago. Here's what I learned: 1) Everyone tells you you're gonna be tired. That's true, but it's not life-ending. People make too big of a deal out of it. 2) Changing diapers isn't that big of a deal. It takes 2 minutes, and then it's over. Change your fair share. 3) Babies are seriously disgusting when they have colds, but you can't avoid them. Keep extra boogie wipes handy. 4) Your baby will overwhelm you and your wife. You may feel like a dick for feeling that way, but it's ok to say "I need a break from baby to reset" sometimes. And it's ok for your wife to do the same. 5) A great babysitter is priceless. If you find one, stick with her or him. They're rare. 6) Once you surface from the first few months of having a baby, you'll have to remember how to relate to your wife in a romantic way. One of you may surface earlier than the other. Be patient. Once you're both ready, make points to spend time alone together. 7) On a related note, you'll have to remember who you are as an individual again. Remember to have hobbies and interests for yourself. 8) As awesome as everyone says having a kid is, it's better. It's like Hawaii: there can't be too much hype. It's scary and fun and gross and beautiful. Good luck, man. You're in for a ride. Edit: fixed autocorrect fail
   — jrice441100


5. It's just poo. You can wash it off. Don't worry.
   — BigPeeOn


6. If it comes from a place of love, you're probably doing the right thing. Also for your wife or partner, just know that motherhood comes with a lot of different stresses than you'll feel as a dad. Especially from older women. Lots of telling young mothers that they're doing it wrong disguised as advice. - bottle feeding vs breast feeding - working vs staying at home - cry it out vs hug it out - sleep with parent vs sleep alone - and on and on and on Some advocates for these differing views can be pretty militant about their position so young moms can get pretty stressed out. We always took the position that we should do what works for us. So if everyone is sleeping, eating, smiling, and healthy, we're doing it right for our family. Oh, and never ever use the phrase that you're babysitting your kids. ;) Classic young dad mistake.
   — KickerHippy






7. Stay in the hospital the second night!!! I know you and the misses are going to want to head home and tuck in your new bundle of joy but STAY THE SECOND NIGHT. Cluster feeding is no joke and as first time parents every noise the child makes is going to wreck your mind. Let the nurses help and bring you peace. Sleep when they sleep. Again those noises will freak you out but try and sleep. It’s the only way to not be mentally and physically exhausted. Breastfeeding is important but so is the child getting food. If her milk isn’t coming in well don’t be the person that lets the baby go hungry. A small bottle or even expressing breast milk into a spoon is better than nothing. Congrats on being a new father. My only turns 1 tomorrow. It’s an amazing thing and truly a blessing.
   — LakeChuck


8. Enjoy the moments that make up each day. Yes sometimes you will be exhausted, other times you might even think you’ve made a big mistake but if you take pleasure in watching them start to become a real person you interact with, see their personality develop, watch them master new skills when they are suddenly moving out (and trust me the years will fly) you will look back and smile.
   — ThatIsMrDickHead2You


9. You might, at first be unattached, it may seem weird because everyone talks about this instant connection with your kid and blah blah blah...sometimes it takes a little longer to feel that love that everyone talks about. Don’t get discouraged. It eventually comes, took me months.
   — HooDxa






10. I had my first child a year and a half ago, and this is a question I’ve asked to a few seasoned dads. But this particular bit of advice I’m going to share really stood out to me. I was in a military class out in Washington D.C. in the summer of 2017 and went to a naval academy football game with some friends I’d made in school. We were tailgating outside the stadium--each graduating class has its own assigned spot in the parking lot--and one of my friends, who is an alumni of the Naval academy, came with his dad. They call him “The Original Savage” for reasons still unknown to me. Savage is in his early 70’s but still works as a trial lawyer down south. Savage had two sons that went to the Naval academy. One is my friend. The Naval academy isn’t an easy school to get accepted to, so I figured he’d be a good person to converse with and potentially ask my question to. I got Savage a beer and we started chatting. He was an affable, intelligent man. One beer became two, and two became three, our conversation becoming more jovial with each sip. He and I were just talking, only the two of us, and we must have looked pretty intense because nobody interrupted us the whole time. Over the course of our interaction I let him know I was a new father and eventually I felt the time was right to ask him my question. It was like he somehow knew what I was going to say because he didn’t skip a beat in answering my question. “Love,” he said. “I remember when my boys were little and I would get up at night and rock them in the chair. I’d sing ‘You Are My Sunshine’ and they’d fall back asleep." He paused, tapping his wedding ring on the glass bottle of beer. "Just love them. The rest will work itself out in due time.” We finished our beers and walked into the game. The rest of the day I couldn’t help but watch Savage as he interacted with his son, my friend. You could tell there was a deep seeded affection he still felt for his son even though he’s now 27 years old. The way he rough housed with him on the stadium lawn or the way his eyes brightened up whenever he told someone that his son was a Naval academy graduate. It reminded me of the way my own dad treats me whenever I’m around him. I used to think he was kind of embarrassing, always telling everyone how proud he was of me, but now I understand why he does it. I'm sure I'll do the same with my daughter one day. Navy won, we walked back to the tailgate, but my friends and I decided to leave early. But before departing Savage gently grabbed my arm and said, “I can tell you’re going to be a good father because you asked me that question. But never forget love. Even when she does something that makes you mad remember love, okay?” “Yes, sir,” I replied. Having both been military men I gave him a salute but he pulled me in for a hug and we said goodbye. I know I’ll probably never see Savage again but the words he spoke to me will resonate as long as I live, like radio waves emanating through space. Love.
    — Anastik


11. I know this is for fathers, but as a wife and mother, tell your s.o. if you need something. Help with a chore, a break, a nap. We can't read minds. (Would've saved us a lot of fighting).
    — bracing_brooke626