Reddit, say one day you went off the rails and became infamous for hurting a lot of people. In what funny/terrible ways do you think the media would blow mundane or unrelated aspects of your life out of proportion in order to paint you and your interests as “troubled"?

1. "Video games led him to violence." Bitch I was violent before I ever even played Mario.
   — tatsuedoa


2. My dad signed me to play sports four seasons a year because we're a family of tech geeks and he wanted me to be more rounded out. >FATHER INDOCTRINATED A CULTURE OF PHYSICAL COMPETITION THAT LED TO HIM JOINING THE MILITARY SEEKING OPPORTUNITIES FOR VIOLENT CONFRONTATION
   — GetHisWallet


3. "He clearly spent too much time on reddit, the homepage for scum and villainy"
   — mattreyu






4. I don't talk to my neighbors, therefore I am very suspicious.
   — Rikosae


5. I'm a huge metalhead, and I enjoy shooting guns. There's no way that wouldn't come up in the media. It really just creates their narrative for them.
   — AcrolloPeed


6. I sometimes scratch my dog's testicles because I feel sorry for him since he can't do it himself. I get a feeling it could be used against me
   — vankr






7. There's a shit ton of plastic drop cloths in my house because I am fixing up the place and taping off with plastic is part of lead paint removal protocols. I am sure they'd claim I was amping up to be a serial killer.
   — nkdeck07


8. They would start with the years of recurrent meningoencephalopathy but then would end up blaming a losing streak in League of Legends.
   — oh_damn_now_what


9. Quiet and usually polite guy, video game addict. Easily turned into a loner psycho with violent tendencies
   — kyezo






10. My wife and I enjoy BDSM. Anytime someone does something shitty and there's anything kinky in their background, it gets dragged all over the media like in massive detail. If I ever get infamous in any way, I am going to be royally fucked. Hell, if I ever get even semi-famous in any way I'm probably fucked.
    — dsmitherson


11. They would look into my music history and see that I was clearly destined to become a killer based on my like of gangster rap, icp and death metal.
    — datworkaccountdo


12. “Morbidly obsessed with psychos and serial killers, Sarcasma turned her back on her degree to pursue a career as a carpenter with easy access to power tools and blunt objects of destruction. Construction sites provided a convenient environment for her to avoid social interaction and listen to violent bands such as Lordi and Pantera for literally hours on end. Easily obsessed, she studied and attempted to master an ancient Tibetan meditation technique as a method of escapism, creating mental fantasy worlds in which she was God with the power to create and destroy at will. A former MMORPG addict on antidepressants, is it really any surprise things turned out the way they did?”
    — Sarcasma19






13. I have a bumper sticker on my truck that says "Watch for motorcycles. (Scooters fair game.)" And I also own a scooter.
    — picksandchooses


14. I have an obsession with LOTR and have dozens of LOTR weapons and the Lego sets. As well as 100,000+ other legos. Obviously I'm living in a violent fantasy world stuck with childish interests which lead me to all those murdered elderly people in my basement freezer. Who collects swords? Odd people, that's who.
    — ClickerMonkey


15. I'm in a pretty fucked up group text with some of the guys I was in the army with. But then again this day and age they would probably just portray me as some crazy Veteran with PTSD stockpiling weapons for the apocalypse. When in all reality I'm an avid shooter and shoot competition and also enjoy backpacking and camping. oh well.
    — EVRYPOOPISAEMERGENCY