Married people who were cheated on. How did you find out? What did you do?

1. I was pretty oblivious to it all for a long time. Keep in mind that we lived in a fairly small town (5000 people) so people "know things". I was actually bragging up my now ex-wife to a coworker. Saying how proud I was of her for finally getting a job that she loved after being a stay at home mom for about the last 8 years. I was talking about how she was working as a ranch hand on a few weekend long cattle drives, staying in the bunkhouse of the cattle ranch. My coworker said she knows that ranch, only lived a few miles from there, and that there is NO bunkhouse. The only residence is a single house that the ranch lead hand lives in by himself. That really confused me. I asked my ex about it and she denied it up and down and had an explanation for all of it. Fast forward a few more weeks and another person I know in town is talking with me and I mentioned my ex-wife being at home, which surprised them. They told me that they thought we were split up. Turns out the guy she was fucking, was this person's cousin. Their cousin had told them all sorts of graphic details about what he and my ex-wife had been doing, and now they were sharing them with me as I kept saying things like "no way" and "the must be talking about someone else". Faced with this new information I confronted my now ex-wife again just outside our house as the kids were inside (we lived rurally). She initially tried denying it again, but then finally came clean. I was absolutely gutted. I was a grown man crying uncontrollably in my laneway, and she got in her truck and drove off to be with him again that night, leaving me and the kids at home. I could barely eat or sleep for days, the only thing that kept me sane during my waking hours were my kids. I focused on keeping everything as calm and stable as possible for them every day. They saved me. It's been about 9 years now. I haven't been in a committed relationship since. I don't know if I ever will be again.
   — LurkBrowsingtonIII


2. Knew for sure my ex-wife was cheating on me when she was out of state 'taking care of her sick father' (who really was sick, mind you) and her aunt called me looking for her after her dad collapsed onto the floor for half a day so my ex could go out and fuck her new BF in a motel two hours away.
   — ITGuy_higgins


3. My ex-wife really, really wanted to have a baby. She was in her mid 30s so kind of running out of time. We tried and it wasn't happening as fast as she wanted. After a month+ of no sex (which should have been a big red flag, in retrospect), she comes home one day, takes all her shit, and just leaves. Only once she was gone did she eventually admit to me that she went and got herself pregnant by another man. Got divorced. (by the way: the other guy was someone she had not apparently known long or well, and he wanted nothing to do with the kid. So she is raising it now as a single mother. Her choice)
   — AnomalousAvocado






4. I was with a woman for 7 years (married) had a daughter with her. It was our kid’s birthday and she received a phone call from someone. She played it off as the wrong number. 20 minutes later she informs me that she’s having an emotional affair. I ask... “like on the internet?” And she replies “no, in person”. I respond, “have you slept with them?” She said, “yes”. Turns out the phone call was the guy’s wife... telling her she is dropping him off at our place and She’d better tell me. Turns out they had been having an affair for 6 months. She basically had no leg to stand on... Claimed abuse, tried to sell everything in the home after I was ejected (Army’s cool off plan). After the dust cleared I dropped a bunch a weight , started traveling the world, took my daughter to places that I never imagined. She hates me for it. She’s still with him and they both are hateful and miserable. I thought my life was over then. Turns out it had just begun.
   — surfryhder


5. My ex-wife was having an affair with a fellow co-worker. Here's the story: I was hanging out with my daughter one night who was about 10 at that time and i get a knock on the door. It was one of my wifes co-workers who I've never met telling me my wife is with one of her co-workers at a restaurant right now and I think you should know. I drove to the restaurant and saw her with some dude having dinner. I threw my ring right on the ground in the restaurant and told her she could fucking have it. The next day after talking to my wife's sister I agreed to speak with my wife and we talked it out and i said i would need some time to figure shit out. The next day some dude shows up at my work and hands me a envelope and says thought you may wanna see these. They were pictures of my wife and her co-worker kissing with a time stamp of the day after i caught them at the restaurant. Turns out all of her co-workers saw what she was doing to me and felt like they should tell me. So I kicked her ass to the curb and never looked back
   — jason544770


6. I suspected it earlier but nothing was solid so I never brought it up. But he didn't realize that the Apple devices got synced together, and one day I was using one of the devices for something and messages started popping up in real time. I got to read their conversation as it was happening, as well as past messages. It was gut wrenching because neither of them cared. If I remember correctly, they were talking about a past hookup and how I had no clue and his response was "YOLO". I confronted him about it that night. He begged and pleaded for me to stay. Tried to convince me they never actually hooked up. Tried to convince me it was just a big mistake on his part. Tried to convince me that I mattered more than her. But in the end, I knew I could never stay. How could I stay with someone who reduced long term cheating on his spouse to "YOLO"? All the begging and pleading was empty and I knew it. I felt sick for a long time. Moved out. Got therapy. I was poor, really poor. But honestly I was much happier after getting out and getting help. And I've been happier ever since.
   — raptorsarepteryble






7. Found out before it was headed to that. Interesting anecdote to the story was the other guy bro-ed up, and told her HE wasn't comfortable with it. Go figure.
   — apageofthedarkhold


8. I woke up to her phone going off at around 6 am. They were "good morning, I miss you, ect." messages from another guy she was talking to. I woke her up, kicked her out and promptly moved to Indianapolis with one of my best friends! I still get sad sometimes because I thought we really loved each other.. but the cookie has crumbled.
   — Drao187


9. She said she had to go down to visit her mom. She never came back. Turns out she didn’t go visit her mom. It’s all good now though, I’m way happier since that all happened!
   — bhemblem






10. Not married but I was engaged. I went shopping with my best friend and noticed she was texting with someone. I asked if she had a new boyfriend? She was overweight and very self loathing over how no guys would ever date her. So I was genuinely happy for her. She kept acting suspicious and I snatched her phone and ran to see who she was texting. Turns out it was my fiancé. She didn't even save his number. From as much as I could read before she caught up with me, it was obvious they were hooking up. Not only did I lose my boyfriend of 5 years I lost my best friend too.
    — anri_chan


11. She got extremely sloppy and left evidence. So I snooped through her purse and her car and found lots more. We're now divorced and she's unhappily married to the guy with whom she was cheating.
    — Zer0_Karma


12. I kinda knew something was going on and then my close friends had a pseudo intervention to let me know I was in a broken relationship. I went and found the guy and talked to him for confirmation. After that I left and kinda disappeared for a little over a year. I don't think I even talked with anyone over that period of time. I just spent a lot of time reflecting on who I became through that relationship and then spent a great deal more re-establishing some sense of self worth.
    — zombiebane






13. She got involved with another man. I knew something was wrong because things didn’t feel right for weeks. Getting her to tell me the truth was like pulling teeth every step of the way. She asked for a divorce. I gave it to her willingly. Took standard advice. Forgot about Facebook, hit the gym, hired a lawyer, and made entirely new friends in my late 20s. Life is so much better now than I thought it would be even when I was married.
    — Byizo


14. I caught her heavily flirting with people at parties a few times. Then I got deployed and returned. She shows up late for my units arrival after drinking a 6 pack of beer. She left me and my son soon after to do drugs and live with the guy I can only assume she was sleeping with. Her best friend at the time told me she cheated in me. We divorced and I remarried later to a great person. I also worked really hard and made a nice career in cyber security. Edit: I meant she left my son and I. He is doing well and thanks for caring. I have had full custody since we split and she's not a big part of his life.
    — ImGettingOffToYou