If your dog was giving you a LPT, what would it be?

1. LPT: When I bring you the ball after you threw it, throw it again without taking it from me
   — Barack-YoMama


2. Always growl at butt when it makes noise. Makes noise go away. (our dog would fart then growl at her own ass)
   — MauiKehaulani


3. LPT: Switch to the bathroom tile for your sleeping spot in the middle of the night when you get hot.
   — Tmaffa






4. If you bark your head off at the brown truck, it will leave.
   — turkeycurry


5. If you can't hump it or eat it, bark at it.
   — FrostyFlakes35


6. At dinner time, sit under the little hoomans. They drop the most food on the floor.
   — Lilebi






7. Wait until bed time to clean your butt, everyone will love the sounds
   — shaven_craven


8. DLPT: When your butt itches drag it across the dark carpet instead of the beige. You get in less trouble this way.
   — SarahTonein


9. When in doubt, whip out the big sad eyes. Never underestimate the power of manipulation and never be afraid to ask for what you want.
   — sdfavefav






10. Don't worry who's watching or where you are. Just get that leg up and lick those balls anyway.
    — twobits9


11. Keep nudging people and licking your lips and food will appear.
    — _iPood_


12. (A) Always lick yourself. It feels great and helps you stay clean. (B) Always stick your nose in butts. Impolite to not do so.
    — cdnkevin






13. Actually take me on long walks. Don't just let me outside to pee. We'll both be healthier and live longer.
    — schodrum


14. LPT: no take. Only throw.
    — tomjonesdrones