Married people of Reddit: What is the harmless elephant in the room that won't affect your relationship but you never speak of?

1. He never finished his coffee, so there's always a half drunk coffee on the table. Sometimes a few if he hasn't put the mugs in the kitchen. I've asked him why, and he says it's because it gets cold too fast. Tried smaller coffees. Still does it.
   — drjankowska


2. There is a small red colored magnet hidden somewhere in the house. When it's found it has to be moved to another hiding place. We've been doing this for 15 years now but never talk about it.
   — rabbit_killer82


3. My wife is the absolute worst story teller ever. She is so smart and funny, but my goodness, her stories go on forever. She takes a story that should take 2 minutes to tell and turns it into a 25 minute story with EVERY SINGLE DETAIL that actually happened. EDIT: Please don't tell my wife.
   — The_Young_Celt






4. Every time we are driving by an outdoor mall or anywhere with a lot of store fronts, he will read every. Single. Store. Out. Loud. Every time. Edit: I didn't realize how many of you exist! Keep on reading guys.
   — Hybridmomentsx


5. Not me but my parents. We're a Chinese family and my father is born in the Chinese zodiac year of the pig. After they were married, my mother started buying pig-themed things for the house. A pillowcase featuring a farm scene, a mug in the shape of a pig, pig figurines, etc. My father thought my mother liked pigs because she kept buying pig-themed things, so he started buying pig-themed things for the house, too. 10 years later, with the house filled in pig-themed things, they have a conversation and realize that neither of them really were into pigs and they were just buying them for the other person. Now guests who come over see pigs all over the place and think my parents collect them and they buy more pig-themed things as gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
   — p3dantic


6. Neither of us puts up laundry. It's supposed to be one washes the other puts it away but neither of us do it. All our clothes just sit in baskets 99% of the time. It irks us both but we're both guilty so we keep our mouths shut.
   — duckyblinders






7. I travel for work, and bring back a stuffed animal for her. I did this for years, and then found out that she refuses to donate/throw away anything "with a face". We have GOBS of stuffed animals from my trips all over the place. Did I stop getting her stuffed animals after I learned? Of course not. So the elephant in the room is probably from my Arizona trip.
   — Cake_Bear


8. My wife doesnt screw the top back on the bottle of..... anything. Everything with a lid is a potential bomb.
   — d00d3r1n022


9. Well there is this bag of luggage at the bottom of the stairs that she left there when we got back from holiday last week...
   — Watty13






10. He leaves any and all doors/drawers open after getting what he needs out of them. Kitchen cabinets, the dishwasher, the microwave, bathroom vanity, closets, dressers, night stands.. I can always tell whether or not he's home when I walk through the front door. It will look like our kitchen is about to be ransacked. I've called him out on it like twice - when I first noticed it was a trend and a time after that - and he was genuinely surprised. He was like, "you're fucking with me, you opened some of those." Nope. 7 kitchen cabinets and drawers apparently had to be opened for you to make your snack - all you, babe. He sincerely apologized, but here we are 4 years later and I still just follow him around closing cabinets and drawers after he leaves the room. It's too comical to fight over, and it really doesn't even bother me terribly, so I just don't bring it up. 🤷🏻‍♀️
    — iateallthereeses


11. On multiple occasions in our dozen years of marriage, my wife has talked to my farts. As in, I fart and from across the house I hear "what was that honey?" It's little things like this that I wake up for every morning.
    — turtlenipples


12. My wife cooks, I do the dishes. I cook, I do the dishes.
    — focusandbelieve






13. She never puts the fucking cap back on the toothpaste.
    — FlyingChange


14. The two relationships I was in directly before I met my wife ended when my partner died. Nothing suspicious, they both died of cancer. Different cancers. But my wife knows I miss one of them still and we never talk about it.
    — gawaine73


15. Well, it was a long time ago so it doesn't matter now, but the time I farted in front of her whole family while we were all crowded around a small table looking at something. It was a bad one. One of those ones that's hot coming out. Nobody flinched, left the table, or ever said a word about it.
    — Dravous






16. That he continually thinks I hide his things when he can't find something. Edit: Apparently I am everyone's mom or wife! Here, have a Whitney Houston song https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H7_sqdkaAfo Edit again: the only thing I've ever "hidden" were his plethora of cargo shorts. I hid those in the trash. No, his name's not Todd.
    — toe_knuckle_hair