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If you named your children after the reason you had them, what would they be?


  1. Not my kids but my siblings and I would be: 1. "The apple of our eye, the meaning of marriage" 2. "This is easy, let's have another!" 3. "We did not learn from the 2nd one..."
    — cheesedanish93

  2. 1. Wanted child 2. Wanted another child 3. Missed having a baby 4. Wasn't expecting the third pregnancy to result in twins
    — FWD_Me_Your_PMs

  3. 1. Oopsie Too Soon 2. Oopsie Too Soon Again 3. Aw Fuck Not Again
    — Therapistwit



  4. My siblings and I: 1. Mom has Theories on Raising Children Properly 2. Breastfeeding is not actually birth control 3. Need another screaming voice on the way to the divorce lawyer
    — ShesQuackers

  5. Not myself, but my parents: 1. Wanted a Baby 2. Tried for a Boy 3. Finally Got the Boy 4. Oops ... I'm 'Oops'.
    — justanothersong

  6. Internet down
    — vtjake



  7. as a child of asian parents 1. investment 2. retirement plan
    — spitfire9107

  8. Child 1 Young and stupid Child 2 Condom slipped off
    — i_belong_to_da_ocean

  9. Twin A: Hurricane Twin B: Sandy
    — KyleRichXV



  10. My very catholic parents named their kids: 1) “oh no, I guess we have to get married now” 2) “that wasn’t so bad, how about another” *six year gap when Dad worked for a birth control pharma company and then quit due to religious reasons* 3) “shoot, is that what birth control did?” 4) “I guess I got my ovulation day wrong again” 5) “I don’t believe in divorce, a baby will fix it” 6) “DEAR GOD” Now they are happily divorced. 😂
    — needchampagne

  11. Love. I adopted him because I love him.
    — Legend017

  12. 1) Vodka 2) Tequila 3) Vodka Sounds better than Broken Condoms.
    — FelineFrisky2nite



  13. My 2-year-old's new name is now "It Feels Better Without a Condom".
    — DiiInfer

  14. I would be "Bad Mexican Food". Mom vomited up the pill and in I slipped.
    — kawhi-not

  15. I have two adopted children. Seems like "wanted more kids but were getting too old so we outsourced the labor" would be awkward. Maybe just "wanted" and "group discount."
    — jabroni26