As a child, what's something you took literally?

1. When I was little I asked my dad why he had to go to work. He said, "to make money." Naturally I thought he went to physically craft currency like at a mint. I guess kids of mint workers can take it literally and actually be right.
   — RSwordsman


2. Yours truly is a resident and national of a non english speaking country. We were taught the language but idioms and phrases werent. Not by then anyway when I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade. One day I am sitting around reading the house and reading comics in english (archies comics), my father walks in with a colleague in tow, who is surprised to see a kid reading english. The guy pats me on the head and says, "keep it up!", which I do by placing the comic book on top of a shelf in the room and walking away.
   — tardiswanderlust


3. My mom said my dad had to shave or else he'd be fired. My only familiarity with that word up to that point was getting fired out of a cannon.
   — empurrfekt






4. Not me, but my sister. In preschool during snack time one day everyone got an orange, and the teacher told my sister to eat the whole thing, since she would always leave half of her food untouched. So, she ate the whole thing, rind and all, without peeling it. She just bit into it and ate it like an apple. The teacher came back and asked her where the rind was and she said, "You told me I had to eat the whole thing!"
   — whenthereisfire


5. That the New York Yankees were all just really bad people. Turns out my dad is just not a big Yankees fan
   — Aegis_8


6. "Put that back exactly where you found it." I scrutinised the dust on the shelf to determine as well as I could the millimetre-precise former location of it.
   — ViridianKumquat






7. As a kid my dentist told me that the "D.D.S." after his name stood for "Doctor of Dental Stuff". I believed this for an embarrassingly long time.
   — willywag


8. I really did think my dad and I would build a spaceship, and that we would dig a tunnel to the nearby playground. He says he still feels bad :(
   — felineprotector


9. In grade school, my teacher was teaching us about poetry and poetic license. I raised my hand and asked where I could apply for a poetic license.
   — TheNewGuyAgain






10. * Thought 'round of applause' meant to literally move my clapping hands around in a circle. Looked stupid. * Misunderstood my mom when she joked that the IMAX theatre piped smells in as well. Showed up and was sad I couldn't smell any residual scents left over from the previous film. Looked stupid. * Best for last. In third grade for our music program our music teacher told us to give a big smile on the last note of our song. There I am on the front row, we'd finished singing and the cheesy ending was playing, almost literally scowling. Then on the final hit I flashed this huge fake smile. When I watched the footage my mom took I realized I was the only person that did it. Looked stupid af.
    — rahyveshachr


11. That there was a troll living in the outlet, and he would shock the hell out of anyone trying to poke him with anything sharp. I'm an electricians apprentice today, still say ello to the wicked troll from time to time
    — smj135


12. I used to think that black and white movies looked that way because everything in the world used to be black and white.
    — 1Centered1






13. That sex was just man and a woman getting naked and looking at each other.
    — PM_me_crazy_stories


14. That junk food was literal junk. I asked to go to Burger King when I was very small and my mom declined and said it was "junk food". I just imagined trays with old banana peels and scraps and packaging.
    — sneakyburrito


15. I thought making "ends meet" was a food dish (ends meat) that people had when they were broke and couldn't afford anything better. And it would be the crusty/dried part of a cut of meat that had been sitting in the deli for awhile so it was discounted. Something like "we don't have enough money this week, we have to make ends meat".
    — inspectorofpain