What is the most hilarious historical fact you know?

1. Notorious Pirate/Pirate hunter Benjamin Hornigold Once attacked a ship just to steal all of the crew member's hats. His men had gotten drunk and lost their hats during a party the night before and decided to board a ship to get replacements.
   — SalemWitchBurial


2. The founding fathers wouldn't let Benjamin Franklin work on the Declaration Of Independance because they were afraid he would slip a joke into it.
   — JasonYaya


3. During the 1916 Easter Rising in Ireland (the start of Ireland declaring independence), fighting between the Irish and English stopped in one park so someone could come feed the ~~ducks~~ swans.
   — CLint_FLicker






4. After her ninth child, Queen Victoria's doctor advised her not to have anymore. She responded with "Oh Sir James (doctor), am I not to have anymore fun in bed!". I loved reading about her. She was very much in love with her husband and when he died she kept the last glass he drank out of in the same place on the night stand for the remainder of her life (like 40ish years or so).
   — La_Chica_Salvaje


5. In the North East of England, there are names for people from various places. Geordie, for people from Newcastle and Mackem for people from Sunderland may be the most famous. Similar with Cockney for parts of London. The place I was born (in the NE) also has a name for its people: Monkey Hangers (or Hinger, in dialect). Apparently, during the Napoleonic wars a French ship was wrecked just off the coast of Hartlepool and a little monkey that had been dressed in a little monkey French uniform for onboard lols washed up on shore. Hartlepool, being a little coastal town, wasn't super full of intelligent people, and some of the locals decided to try the monkey on the beach. They asked it all sorts of questions, but because it was a monkey it A) didn't have a fucking clue what was going on, and B) obviously couldn't speak, let alone speak English. As the Hartlepudlians had never seen a French person OR a monkey before, the obvious conclusion was that this monkey in his little uniform was a French spy, and they hanged it. Solid work, guys.
   — ihaveneverbeenwise


6. In 1847, Robert Liston performed an amputation in 25 seconds, operating so quickly that he accidentally amputated his assistant's fingers as well. Both patient and assistant later died of sepsis, and a spectator reportedly died of shock, resulting in the only known surgical procedure with a 300% mortality rate.
   — Montuvito_G






7. The Pentagon wasn't built that way for any defense reason -- in fact, it's not even a regular pentagon. It was designed to fit nicely into the empty field between five major roads, but then later there was some reason why they had to build it somewhere else, I think it was too close to some city or something. Anyway they'd already paid someone to design this five-sided building so they just said fuck it, it's a pentagon now.
   — nupanick


8. In 1942, two Gestapo's caught a Polish Ressistance member, Joseph Mierzynski. Instead of turning him in, they decided to milk the situation and have him lead them to the Ressistance's weapons stash so the two Gestapos could claim a greater catch and possibly get a promotion. He led them to a secluded house in Zgierz with a attic storage accessible only via folded ladder. The attic turned out to be full of stolen Wehrmacht guns! In fact, there were so many crates of guns and ammo there that the Gestapos grew tired of taking turns hauling it out, and forced Joe on gunpoint to get up there and drag the boxes out himself. As could be expected, he promptly gunned them down through the ceiling :) But hey, there's more! The noise attracted the attention of the (Nazi controlled) police and German troops, and Mierzynski had to escape. So he did the most logical thing: instead of running away, stealing a car, or something, he slowly packed as much guns as he could into a bigass bag, walked nonchalantly to the intersection, and hopped on a tram (the slowest possible means of escape), sat there and started reading a newspaper until he reached Lodz.
   — Freevoulous


9. The first thing said to the Pilgrims by Native Americans, specifically by Samoset: "Do you have any beer?" In perfect English. By the time the Pilgrims arrived at Plymouth, European trade routes to North America already existed for generations. Trade diplomats and fishermen traveled extensively to and from Europe. EDIT - Thanks to u/Thantosiet for the correction.
   — TheSpanishImpostion






10. Napoleon was attacked by a horde of bunnies while hunting
    — snowzua


11. Daniel Steibelt, a top pianist in his own right, challenged his contemporary Beethoven to a musical improv duel. Steibelt did believe he had a shot; he was no kid, and had already composed for Marie Antoinette and operatized a successful version of Romeo and Juliet. He showed up to the improv and played one of his own works, for which he'd brought the sheet music. Once it was his turn, Beethoven turned the sheet music upside down and beautifully fucked the piece sideways and backwards, overturing Steibelt's style all the while like a cat teasing a particularly boring mouse. No one ever challenged Beethoven to a musical improv again, least of all Steibelt, who never again set foot in Vienna.
    — silversatire