What's the most awkward situation you've found yourself in?

In one of my Army units, there had been an incident during a training exercise held at another base. We were billeted in some ancient WW2-era buildings and the female showers had a broken window. Some male soldiers were rumored to have been peeking in on the females. Nobody was actually caught in the act but the word went around. We get back to home base and our Sergeant Major pulls all enlisted soldiers from my company into the headquarters classroom. He tells us that he has heard the rumors and wants to know who did it. After a few minutes of silence, the CSM said, "Nobody is leaving here until I get my answer!" Just then, the supply sergeant, who was married to one of the females in our unit, stands up all pissed off and says, "Yeah, motherfuckers! I want to know who was looking at my wife!" Almost immediately, a voice from the back of the room says, "Nobody was staring at your ugly fat ass wife!" You could have heard a damn pin drop for a good 30 seconds. Then, the wave of laughter began and the CSM realized that there was no hope. He kept us there for another two hours but nobody confessed.
— Yerok-The-Warrior

I gave a pen to a deaf person and freaked the fuck out for a second because I didn't know how to ask for it back.
— yeaman_imthemailman

This happened during math class in 10th grade. The teacher wanted everyone of us to write down their height on a piece of paper and give that paper to him so we could do some statistic calculations with it. So the heights were basically just used as an example. He wrote down all the heights on the blackboard. The by far lowest height was 1.30m which belonged to a disabled girl who was born without legs. Of course everyone knew it was her except one guys who suddenly shouted something like: "WHAT THE FUCK...1.30m...NO ONE IS THAT SMALL..STOP TROLLING" and started bursting out in laughter about how bad the "joke" was. Everyone just sat there in silence looking at each other trying to figure out how to tell him. He then went on with "Come on...that is such a bad joke...its just stupid." and continued laughing for another 30 seconds until he noticed no one else was laughing and finally realized his fuck up. He just said: "ohh...im sorry" in the most desperate voice I have ever heard. No one including the girl said anything and the teacher just continued with the lesson. I and probably everyone else felt such a shame in that moment although it was a pretty funny story afterwards.
— Phaillip

The moment of silence after the Subway employee asked me, "Is this going to be a meal?" and I optimistically responded, "I don't know, we'll see."
— rake2204

I was 15, and my then girlfriend's mother cussed me out loudly in a restaurant because I liked olives. She screamed something like "PEOPLE WHO LIKE OLIVES ARE UNTRUSTWORTHY!!!", followed by a few expletives. That was pretty awkward.
— MartijnCvB

A few years after my father died my mother developed so many health issues she had to move into an assisted living home. It was expensive and she ran out of money in just a few years. She had to go on Medicare. To sign her up for Medicare and keep her at the assisted living facility I had to buy several things in advance and one of those thing was a headstone for her grave (Yep, that was a rule, I had to buy one in advance.) The headstone guys told me they'd engrave it with everything except the year of her death and that would be cheaper than doing the engraving when she died. I also had to either pay an outrageous amount for storing it at the headstone guy's warehouse or I had to give them a place they could take it. I didn't want them to take it to the actual cemetery plot where she would ultimately be buried because I used to take her to my father's grave now and then as a part of a day's outing with her, her plot was right next to his. I talked to a friend of hers and arraigned to have the headstone stored in the friend's garage. The next time we visited my father's grave, guess what was sitting right next to his headstone, complete with her engraved name and everything except her year of death? Awkward.
— picksandchooses

Roughly 7ish years ago, my husband and I worked for the same company providing retail tech support for a cellular carrier. We worked in different stores. A lady came to my counter one day complaining about her experience in the store my husband worked in, specifically naming him as the person she had a beef with. She raved for a good five minutes about the terrible customer service he provided, wrapping up with a real zinger: "And he was wearing a *wedding ring*! I feel sorry for his wife!" I looked down at my matching ring, looked back up at her and said "Well, speaking as his wife I can assure you he's a different person at home." Her jaw just about hit the floor, she stared down at my ring and looked back up at my face, spitting and sputtering and trying to backpedal on her last statement. She ultimately took back everything she said and practically ran from the store. The irony is that now I'm getting a divorce. That lady was right after all.
— WoeHossette

Back when I was an exchange student, my girlfriend and I used to go on really long walks through the city. We always teased each other and did stupid things, and one day she dragged me into a sex toy store, just because she knew it would make me uncomfortable, and started waving this huge fucking dildo in my face. A lot of the shops in this city just have large, open doorways leading to the street, and of course, on this particular occasion, one of my professors walks by and sees me in a sex toy shop standing next to my girlfriend, who is holding a huge dildo ridiculously close to my face. He probably thought I was like... inspecting it for size or something. I wanted to die.
— emptyphonebook

Having a conversation with someone on the elevator and getting off on their floor. She looked at me with confusion and walked away. she works on the 7th I work on 24th floor
— blankouts

My dad loved barging into my room with a joking "WHATS GOING ON IN HERE!?" One time me and my girlfriend were getting intimate on my coffee table, doing some strange experimental positions that she found in a Kama Sutra book, and my dad bursts through the door. "WHATS GOing on... oh.. umm, sorry... my bad..." I lost my erection and we didn't end up finishing having sex, but from then on it was, KNOCK KNOCK, "...hello?... are you in there?..."
— varnr

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