What's the dumbest argument you've ever had?

1. When I was six my friend and I stood facing each other, arguing about which hand was your left, and which was your right. It took us about five minutes to realize that, when standing opposite someone, your left side is their right.
   — im_the_dm


2. someone told me "My dad is better than your dad", when my dad was clearly the superior one.
   — 0100_01


3. Map had a typo on it spelling Australia as "Austrailia." Had an argument about correct spelling when "its right there on the map."
   — ToyVaren






4. My friend once tried to argue that Token, the black character in South Park, was named as such because "black people are stereotypically always toking on weed and crack." I argued that it was because he's the 'token black character.'
   — rosonoki


5. My husband and I had an argument over whether the servo at the edge of town was a BP or a United. “We need to go past the BP.” “What BP? You mean the United?” “Where the fuck is the United?” “You know, near the sale yards. The big fucking United on the corner.” “That’s a BP! It’s green!” Turns out, it’s a Caltex.
   — BrandNewOmelette


6. Once me and my friend argued about how Hitler killed himself. I insisted that Hitler took a cyanide pill, while he asserted that Hitler shot himself in the head. After this went on for a bit we finally decided to look it up ourselves. Imagine our surprise when we found out that Hitler did both.
   — -OodlesofNoodles-






7. My wife and I got into a shouting match as to whose friend's wedding we would attend IF they scheduled them for the same weekend. Neither was even engaged yet.
   — ruthwikns


8. My dad and I had an argument about who cheated in their exams better.
   — GoodfellaGandalf


9. In high school, a bunch of friends and I were talking about what we were gonna do after HS. Some people were gonna keep studying at university, others felt like they were tired of studying and would maybe spend a year travelling or something first. That’s when this guy joins the discussion and says that he wouldn’t wanna take a one year break because then he would be so old when I finally finished uni. “But you will only be one year older” “What? No, I’ll be like 3-4 years older” “But if you...what? If you take a ONE YEAR BREAK, you will be one year older when you finally finish” “Nooo but it will be so much later” This discussion literally went on for about 20 minutes, and he eventually had to surrender, but not without a hint of uncertainty. Like “hmm yeah okay guys I guess you might be right”
   — wereinthedark






10. I was living with a buddy and we were getting on each other's nerves. One night we were arguing about whether to break spaghetti noodles in half. I finally said, you cook yours your way (broken) and I'll cook mine unbroken. He took half the spaghetti from the package and broken the noodles in half, put them in boiling water and started stirring, while I stood there with the package. Mostly we glared at each other, then he reminded me to add my half to the pot. After I did it, then he thought of something: "How are we going to separate the long noodles from the short ones?"
    — daveagl


11. An ex-boyfriend wanted to borrow my vacuum cleaner. I said no. He said "but I insist." I explained that just because he said he insisted doesn't mean he gets his way. He was inordinately pissed.
    — donknotts


12. Fighting with my brother about which fruit would win if they were sentient and could fight.
    — AntonWright