Teachers of Sex ed, what is the most funniest/interesting things you've heard?

In my question box I often received "What is a vulva?"... As always, I read the question aloud and immediately a student's hand shot up and he "ooo! ooo! I know this one"... I don't usually take student answers during question box time, but he was just so thrilled to know an answer to something that his peers seemingly didn't that to not call on the poor boy would have crushed him. So I did... To which he smiled the biggest smile and proudly exclaimed "That's a car!" I managed to pour tea down my shirt as I did my best to keep from breaking down in the kinds of laughter that destroy a student... He was pretty mortified when I explained what it actually was...
— Snuffy1717

Not a teacher, but a student at the time. A girl asked the teacher how big a penis can be. Teacher: On average, four to eight inches. Girl: Forty-eight inches!? Class starts laughing lol.
— berniemax

Way back when, there was a very confused boy (12ish I'd say) in my class who asked what the blue stuff women 'pee out' during their periods was. The teacher of course explained it was blood etc. and not blue stuff at all. He was amazed! He had seen pad commercials on TV where they pour blue water to show how absorbent they are and just figured women actually exuded bright blue liquid once a month.
— Murky-Purple

Am a teacher, the weirdest one wasn't weird because of assumptions, but because I'd never thought about it. Two girls had a passionate discussion during sex ed, whispering fiercely. One decided "We can ask miss Gingercuddles. Miss, why do women bleach their anus?" They both were dead serious, looking at me with big eyes. I had to look it up.
— Gingercuddles

Student here. Teacher admitted losing his virginity at age 33. Not that there's something wrong with that when you tell an adult, but when you tell it to 20 fifteen year olds who barely respect you as it is, it doesn't end well.
— IMissJerry4295

As a teacher, I was about six months pregnant when a pair of high school girls asked me, "Can you have sex while you're pregnant?" I answered honestly that yes, one can as long as doctor says the pregnancy is normal and one can comfortably do so. They were absolutely scandalized. The looks they gave me for weeks were silently screaming, "MrsGoatess all big and pregnant is having sex!"
— MrsGoatess

Not a teacher but a fellow student at the time. A guy asked her if size mattered when it comes to sex. The teacher replied no and reassured the class it was okay no matter the size. Then the guy that asked the question looked down at his crotch and said out loud to the class “Hear that little guy?” Everyone was crying their eyes out from laughter.
— kev4330

While student teaching I had taken over the sex ed unit. In one of those transition moments when everybody starts chatting, a 12 year old girl in the front asks me "Why do boys always cum first?"
— DieMilkweed

Not a teacher, but when I was in grade 6 we had a class on hitting puberty and our teacher was explaining how erections cause the ureter to basically get pinched off so that you don't actually pee yourself while having sex. She also explained that you can pee with an erection, but it doesn't feel the same as with a flaccid penis. One of the boys in my class quickly raised his hand and asked very loudly, and with utter seriousness, "Is that why it burns when I pee?" Suffice to say our teacher was quite mortified and told him that it shouldn't burn, and that he should definitely get that checked out.
— IronTitan12345

Not a teacher, was a student in the same class as a teacher was passing out condoms for us to see different types. Teacher was quietly droning on about something when suddenly a girl at the back of the class exclaims, "Oooh! Ribbing!" It was so sudden, and so passionately delivered, that the entire class promptly descended in to hysterics. The condoms were collected quickly by the teacher.
— OzzieBloke777

When I was a student a smart ass friend of mine asked in a sex ed class "What is the plural of the word Penis?". The old codger of a teacher didn't miss a beat and answered "You'll probably never have to deal with more than one at a time."
— fartbox_mcgilicudy

I am a teacher, but I don't teach sex ed. When I was at school, boys and girls were split off into same-sex lessons on "bodies, sex and relationships". At the end of the session on how sperm travels through the vagina and uterus, ending in fertilisation, one lad put his hand up and said "OK, I understand *that*, but what about when sperm enters the body orally?" like it was the most insightful and perceptive question in the world. I can still remember the teacher's effort to compose herself before answering, it was brilliant.
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