What's the most unintelligent thing you've heard an intelligent person say?

1. In university, a third year student in virology class asked the lecturer how biological viruses were able to evolve and infect computers...
   — Plotboyavril


2. When accused of not listening during a conversation: "Well, you can't just assume that I heard you!"
   — sleepisweak


3. Posted this before, but it's worth repeating. My Mum once said there was no gravity on the moon. I explained that there was *less* gravity on the moon, not no gravity. She wasn't having it. There was no gravity on the moon. The longer the conversation went on, the angrier she got. At the end, the following exchange took place: "Ok, Mum, let me try and explain it this way: If there's no gravity on the moon, like, no gravity at all...then why didn't the astronauts just float off into space during the moon landings?" "Now you're being deliberately stupid. That's obvious. They were tied to the spaceship." "Then why didn't the spaceship float away?" "Because it's really heavy!"
   — Paulius2444






4. "My feet hurt" His shoes were on the wrong feet. This kid was my roommate in college and he is a naturally gifted electrical engineer. However, he has almost 0 common sense. For example, he built a Tesla coil from a broken microwave, but at the same time proceeded to blow the fuse on half the dorm while doing so. He's lost his keys once, and he asked me if I had seen them. He had been wearing his sweatshirt inside out and they were in the front pocket. This has happened twice. I have more stories if you want them. Edit: More stories yay! I'm going to preface this with the fact that he is one of my best friends. He's a super relaxed guy and he's bought me easily 300 dollars worth of taco Bell. Really genuine guy. This kid came into college in calc 3, and on top of the Tesla coil thing he's also made tasers, a really wonky but somehow working wireless charging thing (totally sketched me out because it sometimes shocked shit randomly), and even wrote a program in Excel that clocked employees at our company in and out for that day. Even though he doesn't work at that facility anymore the company still uses his program, and others have adopted it. However, this kid cannot fucking spell. Every other word is a kindergartenerized version of itself. I proof read all his essays, and it took me an hour to get through a 1500 word prompt, and that was just spelling errors. When we first moved in he brought a fog machine with him. It was a new building and we were the first students in this building so we practically were the test subjects for finding what rules they left out. Anyways, it's 2am on a school night and we're chilling and listening to music when he's like "let's test this fucker." I was kinda iffy on testing it because the fire alarms had gone off from kids vaping before, but he reassured me that we weren't going to "hot box" the room with fog. I left the room for a second to take a shit and mid shit I hear the alarms go off. I knew who it was already so I just said fuck it and finished my shit and walked to my room to get a sweater and shoes. The fire department shows up, he says it was him yadda yadda. We show them the fog machine in our room, but the police are not interested in that at this point. They see all his electrical wires and tasers and shit all over his desk and I shit you not the fire Marshall said "I don't know where you got all of that but that is way more of a fire hazard than this thing (points to fog machine)." From now on in that dorm there are no fog machines allowed. One night I'm up late watching Parks and Recreation when he walks in with a fucking Baguette at 2am and says "Dude you want some long bread?" I of course indulge him. I rip some off, butter it, and nuke it for maybe 12 seconds and eat it. I go back to watching Parks, and not even a 2 minutes later I smell burning. I look over and he's scrambling with his microwaved buttered bread that he put in for way longer than 12 seconds. He was "just doing what I did." He's a big fan of Coronas. Lime included. If you've ever seen history channel snippets of man first using tools, you have a pretty close idea of how he cuts up a lime. Actually I think they would have done it way smarter than him because they would have set the lime on a solid surface instead of holding the beer and a knife in one hand as he cuts the lime in the other. Another time he put a glass Pyrex pan thing on an electric stove and just forgot the stove was on. We are talking about whatever in the living room when the thing just fucking EXPLODES. He wasn't even cooking anything! I don't even know how it exploded! Glad we were standing a good distance from it. He never was allowed to cook again. I still have more. Edit 2: MORE STORIES A couple of these are going to involve he and I working as interns for a contracting company that was contracted by another company that makes electric vehicles. Yes that one. Note that I was working in Fremont, CA and he was in Reno, NV. So this next one is going to be what I heard from his boss out there. Apparently he and a bunch of other Co-workers would go to this place called the Mustang Ranch and blow a shit ton of money on hookers. Like this kid and I worked 70-84 hrs a week and on top of that was per diem. So he had money to blow. I on the other hand saved mine and leased a brand new vehicle when I got back home. According to payroll this kid made like 23-28 Grand working from May - early August. He came back home with maybe 800 dollars. He blew all his money on strippers and hookers lol. We still make fun of him for that. He also bet his BOSS he could out drink him and still make his flight in the morning. He didn't do either. We both got a week off of work while out there so we invited a few friends and decided to explore northern California. Places like Tahoe, Redwoods, San Francisco, etc. We pull up to his hotel in Reno to grab him and he walks out with this huge garbage bag that was clearly going to rip at any second ( he had luggage stuff for his hotel I don't know why he used a garbage bag for his clothes?). We are at Walmart trying to decide what cooler to buy for the road trip, and I'm trying to tell him we should get a plastic cheap one for like 20 bucks, but he insists that we get this 50 dollar bag cooler. So we buy that one and fill it up with ice, beer, and food. During the road trip it leaks all over his clothes and leaves a mildew smell all over the car. (Honestly everyone else's clothes were totally fine he just put his right under the cooler for some reason). We were a ways from any hotel to wash his clothes so we stop at a Kmart way up near Eureka so he can buy new clothes. We get to this really great campsite on the beach, and this guy's first thing to do is run up to the water and fuck around dodging waves and stuff in his one set of clean new clothes. I tell him to watch out cause he's gonna get wet doing that and we're not going back to Kmart. He turns around to look at me and say "Don't woooorry dude I got thi-" right as a wave his him and gets him all wet. This time it ruined his shoes too. ( We ended up going back for new shoes and clothes again because he REEKED in the car) After he's done fucking around in the ocean he tries to set up the tent by himself when it's easily a two man job. He rips a hole in the top of the tent when we're not looking. When we finally go to sleep in the evening we notice it and tell him he's sleeping under it and he does. The Northern California coast is very foggy, and apparently hole in the tent caught the fog perfectly and dripped water on his head all night.
   — BassPengoowin


5. A friend of mine, when discussing that my birthday was on June 7 and my parents anniversary was on June 6, told me I was made because my parents were celebrating their anniversary. He was our valedictorian.
   — EscobiaReddit


6. When that commercial came out with the guy fighting a bear for salmon one of my friends said "It's obviously a trained bear." The "bear" that was just doing karate moves... He is an engineer now.
   — TheSexyMicrowave






7. "How many quarters are in a football game?" Me. It was me. :(
   — Leanonberger


8. We love to rip on my mate for his blatant lack of general knowledge. Firstly, he stated there were "27 letters in the alphabet, wait no, it's 52 isn't it" and defended himself. And secondly, he was adamant that the ISS had artificial gravity that they can turn on and off at the press of a button. He's 21. At uni.
   — Beards_n_beer


9. At the top of a mountain, someone asked what the elevation was, and someone else responded, I shit you not “well the trail to get up here was four miles, so we must be four miles up, if not HIGHER”
   — PM_ME_DEEP_QUESTIONS






10. "The sun is a planet" uhm... "And so is the moon" At university...
    — Froobyxcube


11. “I’d rather get chlamydia or gonorrhea once a year than use a condom during sex.”
    — Travelswithcat