Skip to main content


What joke do you tell when someone asks you to "tell a joke"?


  1. "Well I'm sure everybody here already knows about Murphey's law, but you guys *probably* don't know about Cole's law, am I right?" "Whats Cole's Law?" "Well, it's thinly sliced cabbage. Sometimes it has vinaigrette or mayonnaise" The trick is keeping a straight face, if you bust out laughing while saying it's thinly sliced cabbage it looses some of it's steam, but I've never *not* had this joke get a laugh.
    — mystriddlery

  2. Did you hear about the guy who had an orgasm every time he sneezed? His friend asked him if he was taking anything for it. And the guy said “yeah. Pepper”.
    — theowlinwinterfell

  3. What do you do if you are attacked by a group of clowns? Go for the juggler.
    — Getonmylevelfools



  4. I love to tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids. I guess that just makes me a faux pa.
    — KolechkaMikhailov

  5. Why did the old woman fall into the well? Because she couldn’t see that well.
    — tocamix90

  6. A guy and girl are on their fourth date at a fancy restaurant. Things are getting serious. They meet eyes over the menus, giggle and blush. The guy looks at the girl and says”I’m.. ha, I’m not sure how to say this.” The girl responds excitedly, “Just say it! Just Say it!!!” Guy: “Wor-Chester-Shire”
    — Ironchefheff



  7. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says "Five beers please."
    — QualityBoi5

  8. Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat? Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat.
    — Natural_Justice

  9. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
    — GhostoftheWolfswood



  10. I think this one is pretty old but I used to use it as a silence breaker a lot: A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch. He picks it up and throws it across the street. A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch. The snail looks up and says, "What the fuck was \*that\* all about?"
    — Ghostype

  11. Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them? So when they return to port they can Scandinavian.
    — artisanpartisan

  12. What do you do if you see a spaceman? Park your car man
    — windowsheet