What is the stupidest thing you can recite word-for-word?

Happy anniversary, Wayne. Stacy, we broke up two months ago. Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out. Well, it does, actually. That's what breaking up is. Well, don't you want to open your present? If it's a severed head I'm going to be very upset. Open it. What is it? It's a gun rack. A gun rack... a gun rack. yeah, right! I don't even own A gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do, with a gun rack? You don't like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me. I lost you two months ago. We broke up. Are you mental? Get the net!
— soomuchcoffee

First you go like this. Spin around, STOP. Double take three times. One, two, three. Pelvic thrust! WHOOOOOO WHOOOOOO Stop on your right foot. Don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring it around town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and thisandthatandthisandthatandthis and then [whooooosh]. Let's gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song. Our C A M P F I R E S O N G song. And if you don't think that we can sing it faster then you're wrong, but it'll help if you just sing along. F is for friends that do stuff together. U is for you and me. N is for anywhere and anytime at all, down here in the deep blue sea.
— metallica3790

Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin' & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil bellend w/ a fit mum & fakebling. ill waste u and smash a fokin bottle oer yer head bruv, i swer 2 christ. ya think u can fokin run ya gabber at me whilst sittin on yer arse behind a lil screen? think again wanka. im callin me homeboys rite now preparin for a proper scrap. A roomble thatll make ur nan sore jus hearin about it. yer a waste bruv. me crew be all over tha place & ill beat ya to a proper fokin pulp with me fists wanka. if i aint satisfied w/ that ill borrow me m8s cricket paddle & see if that gets u the fok out o' newcastle ya daft kunt. if ye had seen this bloody fokin mess commin ye might a' kept ya gabber from runnin. but it seems yea stupid lil twat, innit? ima ****e fury & ull drown in it m8. ur ina proper mess knob.
— ransom0374

Miss Susie had a steamboat the steamboat had a bell (ding ding) the steamboat went to heaven, miss Susie went to Hello operator, please give me number 9
— curiouswizard

Large swaths of *Monty Python and the Holy Grail*, and a couple of the sketches from *And Now for Something Completely Different*. I was an exceptionally annoying child.
— MeconiumBonaparte

Not me, but a friend of mine. He can recite the entire script for "The Transformers: The Movie." The GOOD one. The 1986 animated one. He tells the story that, one time, on a long road trip, he told his girlfriend about this fact, and she didn't believe him. So he started reciting it. One hour later, she snapped. "AHH!! OK!! I BELIEVE YOU!! STOP IT!"
— originalchaosinabox

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
— ARC-Pooper

There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium, And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium, And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium, And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium, Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium, And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium, And gold, protactinium and indium and gallium, And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium. There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium, And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium, There's strontium and silicon and silver and samarium, And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium, and barium. There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium, And phosphorus and francium and fluorine and terbium, And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium, Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium. And lead, praseodymium and platinum, plutonium, Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium, And tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium, And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium. There's sulfur, californium and fermium, berkelium, And also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium, And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc and rhodium, And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin and sodium. These are the only ones of which the news has come to Harvard, And there may be many others but they haven't been discovered. -Tom Lehrer, [The Elements Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2cfju6GTNs)
— Crisp_Volunteer

My time to shine. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck, mother mother fuck mother mother fuck fuck, mother fuck mother fuck noise noise noise. One, two, one two three four noise noise noise smoking weed smoking weed, doing coke drinkin beers. Drinkin beers beers beers. Rollin fatties smokin blunts. Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts rollin blunts and smoking blu-" "Can I get a nickel bag?" "Fifteen bucks little man put that shit in my hand. If that money dosnt show you're gonna owe me, owe mr, owe. MA JUNGLE LOVE owy owy owe I think I want to know ya know ya, yeah what!"
— Hailmary1290

I need a double cheese burger and hold the lettuce, don’t be frontin son no seeds on the bun. we be up in this drive thru to order for two. I got a craving for a number nine like my shoe. We need some chicken up in here in this dizzle fo rizzle my nizzle extra salt on the fizzle. Dr. Pepper my brotha anotha for ya motha double double super size and don’t forget the fries. Crispy.
— squidpenis

Top 10 Answers