If famous companies were forced to have realistic slogans, what would they be?

1. Reddit - Aiding you in procrastination since 2005
   — X----0__0----X


2. Adobe: an update is available.
   — eggre


3. Chapstick - "you lost another tube after 3 uses, didn't you?"
   — Jew_Beard_






4. Top Ramen: We get it, You're broke.
   — AudibleNod


5. Waffle House: if you get shot you still payin for your meal
   — Precipistol


6. *Target: Because you're too good for Wal-Mart.*
   — Mutt1223






7. Netflix: Spend more time looking for that one movie we don't have than watching its sequel that's on here.
   — Lucia_97


8. Any internet provider in most of the US: "It's not like you have a choice, so why should we try?"
   — jurassicbond


9. LinkedIn: Connect with people for no reason at all.
   — Gian_Key






10. Sears: Step into 1992
    — kidwiththeglasses


11. Comcast: Fuck you
    — Synli


12. Harbor Freight Tools: You get what you pay for.
    — She_Likes_Cloth






13. Wal-Mart: You've got something on your chin. No, the other one.
    — eggre


14. "Bada ba ba ba It's convenient"
    — UnnamedNamesake