What are the perks of dating you?

1. My job allows me to get cheap funeral/burial/cremations so there's that
   — De1337oR


2. im low maintenance and can be left alone for days without the need of being fed or watered!
   — origin29


3. Sleight of Hand, Steady Aim, Lightweight.
   — GamerWrestlerSoccer






4. I like feeding people I'm generous with my money I'll psychoanalyze you for free
   — insaneglow


5. You can be the hot one
   — Toomanyefforts


6. I have a tempurpedic mattress and a view of the Empire State Building. Oh, and I'm a licensed massage therapist.
   — Handskomb99






7. I know where I want to eat and I don't stick hair on the shower wall
   — fishguitarpick


8. I like to cuddle and be cuddled.
   — Monkeydiddledo


9. I've got all my own teeth and hair!
   — KarmaBarmaid






10. I'll always give you your space. Mostly because I spend all my time with the wife and kids.
    — Colleredshirt


11. I am a right proper lad.
    — Muumienmamma


12. 34 years of sexual tension, all coiled up and waiting for release... Edit: spelling
    — heyrainyday






13. I have no gag reflex. I fucked it up as a kid by swallowing one half of a strand of spaghetti whilst holding the other. I got a kick out of waiting for a bit, then pulling the spaghetti back up to see how I had digested it. I was a weird child, but it has it's perks now.
    — GinAndFrolic