People of Reddit who ”didn’t know it was a date”, why not?

1. I went to meet up with this girl and her friends. I had a hunch that the girl was interested in me, but we were still just friends and I made that clear. I was not interested in her and wanted to remain single at that time. I was expecting dinner and drinks with a group of people, but about 15 minutes in her friends pulled the "uh oh we gotta go help a friend" and left us alone. Of course I had already ordered, so I was stuck on what she was hoping would turn into a date.
   — LukeTheLumberjack


2. Because I don't class meeting up with someone of the opposite gender a 'date' unless clearly specified beforehand
   — AlanAAllen


3. I had a spare ticket to a baseball game when I was in college and asked this polish girl to the game because I figured she would want to see an American baseball game. We had fun talking, joking, etc. typical baseball game stuff. Then you know dropped her off and she said she had a great time I was like cool me too. Then I got busy with school and such and bumped into her on campus. I was like hey, how's it going and she gave me the cold shoulder. I texted her and was like, yo did I do something wrong and she was like, "you blew me off for weeks after our first date, I figured you didn't like me, but you could have at least said something." I was like, "What date?"
   — dust_wind






4. Because she told me she wasn't looking to date me the month before. Went on 3 dates with her without even knowing it then got yelled at by her for not trying to progress things. Like deer caught in the brightest high beams possible. Looking back, she was about as dumb and immature as they come. I just didn't know any better. She was the first girl who ever actually gave me the time of day.
   — lineman77


5. I talked to him casually about my bf. I hate to be one of those people that brings up there bf all of the time so it wasn't ever like the topic of conversation. For example it was always like yeah i'm cooking chili tonight but my bf doesn't like peppers so i have to figure something else out. I thought it was friendly. We'd never talked about dating each other or even flirted. He asked if i'd be up for drinks after work and i just thought we were becoming good friends but nope:/
   — currentlyovrthinking


6. So I was in a long distance relationship for about 2 years. In that time I was going to my freshman year of college in a state where I didn't really know anyone. I started striking up a conversation with these two girls (to defend myself, I have an easier time talking to girls vs guys) and we became friends. One day, one of the girls asks if we want to have lunch, with her and her friends, and I said "yeah". Well we go to get sushi, and suddenly its just the one girl. I'm like "okay this is odd" but I didn't really think about it too hard. When the check comes around she's like "how do you want to handle this" "We can split it, I'm cool with that" She gives me a weird look and was like "..okay then" A few minutes later we are walking to the bus stop and I get a call from my girlfriend, I let the girl know and walk away for a minute to talk to my girlfriend. When I come back, this girl is crying her head off. Apparently I took this girl out on a date, didn't pay for lunch, and then let her know in the most douchey way that she was my side hustle. I was very confused, my girlfriend still makes fun of me today about it.
   — Kazten






7. Cause he was into girls and so was I
   — oxymoronisanoxymoron


8. This was when I was dropping her off. I had just finished hanging out with a girl I was interested in, but all signs indicated she only saw me as a friend. Me: Hey uh can I ask you something? Her: Sure Me: Would you...ever date me? Her: Wait...this wasn't a date? Me:...I mean...I kind of only asked you to hang right?...Isn't there a universal rule where you have to establish it's one? (Context: my two friends were arguing about this before. Friend 1 told me that a guy and a girl hanging out is a date, but Friend 2 argued that I have to establish it's a date.) Her: But...we spent a whole day together. We saw the Museum of Failure and bonded over our past failures and the people we are today. We got matcha tea together. We had awesome sushi and shopped for gifts, while talking about our lives. That wasn't a date to you? Me: Well yeah it was a date then Her: Well...do you just want to date? Or do you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend Me: No no no I want to be your boyfriend! Her: Wow you are really bad at this. But that's what I wanted to hear. Friend 1 won the argument. But I think I was just really lucky my girlfriend likes me a lot.
   — MUlShaggy


9. I was at a sushi bar alone and I told her as much. What I said was "I'm just grabbing some dinner at [restaurant]." She excitedly said she was right around the corner and offered to join me. We had hung out several times before, all in group settings though, so I said sure, come on by. We got to talking about the weekend before, and she asked about a girl she saw me with at a bar. I told her it was someone I was on a date with. She got really confused and said "Geez, how many people *are* you dating?" thinking she was the other woman or something. I had to tell her that no, we were not dating, despite me sleeping over at her apartment one time (nothing happened, I needed a place to crash. We never even kissed.) She proceeded to insult the girl I was seeing. I put 20 bucks on the table for the server and left. She apologized since, and I forgave her, but the friendship kind of nosedived afterwards
   — SweeterPickles






10. Thought I told him I was already married. To a woman.
    — Coug-Ra


11. I went to a hookah bar in high school with a female friend of mine. She brought some of her friends, we mingled, smoked and had a nice time. This one girl friend she had did a shotgun pass with me (inhaling smoke then kissing the other person and while exhaling it into their lungs). I figured it was just a smoke trick and didn't think anything of it. Apparently her friend thought otherwise. She invited me out to the hookah bar again a week later and I came along. It was the same group of people but this time the girl who I had shotgunned didn't leave my side the entire time. She was talking to me the whole time and I was talking to her. We were laughing and joking around but since I had literally known this girl for like 2 hours combined, I didn't think anything of our interaction. I thought we were just having some friendly banter that was slightly flirtatious. The night continues and she still wouldn't leave my side. Sat very close to me on the benches, constantly tried talking to me, slapping my thigh playfully, kept wanting to shotgun pass multiple times in a row etc. Thinking back to it, the signs were blatantly clear but I was a dumb 16 year old (hookah bar didn't ID) so the signs went right over my head. It also didn't help that up until that point, I had never once had a woman express interest in me so I was completely blind to as how all of that worked. My friend ended up meeting up with her boyfriend later that night so I got stuck driving these random kids home. I dropped them off at Jennys house (the one who was into me and name changed) and was getting ready to leave when Jenny asked me if I wanted to come inside. I told her no thanks but appreciated the offer and drove home. It turns out my friend from school completely forgot to tell me after the first night at the hookah bar that Jenny was insanely attracted to me and wanted to go out with me. My friend told her that she would tell me it was a "group date" (I had severe social anxiety at the time and she knew more than 2 people would help ease my anxiety) and that we were on a technical date. Well, she forgot to mention that to me but mentioned it to Jenny. I literally went out on a date, kissed a girl and let her feel up my thighs without even realizing it was supposed to be a date/sex night. I want to say I was upset but I really wasn't. Jenny was meh at best.
    — Merry_Dankmas


12. She asked me to go get drinks, but we were coworkers at a brewery and employees got drinks together all the time. I started to suspect it was a date half way through so I invited her back to my place. We smoked a joint and then she just went silent for an hour or so, so I assumed I was wrong and went to bed. Turns out she was just cross faded and was lost in her own head space. We texted about it the following day, cleared things up and had a redo date the following weekend that went much better.
    — jigglawr