You have 15 seconds to tell your pet something that they will absolutely understand. What do you tell them?

1. Bob, for the love of God stop fucking barking at every little thing. Chill the fuck out. You see Ginger? She's just lying there, waiting to see what happens. Be like Ginger '
   — theyoungestoldman


2. Please alert me immediately when you are sick or don't feel well. I will protect you at the vet and they are there to help you. I love you beyond words!
   — ProtonDeathRay


3. you're adopted
   — gregorio02






4. I will protect you from anything. There is nothing to be afraid of, people are generally nice and kind and will give you treats. I'm sorry that the people who had you before weren't nice to you, but I will never hurt you and I'll protect you from people like them. You are safe. I love you.
   — AnxiousReader


5. I love you~
   — Astrobrony


6. Stop being a little shit stealing trash out of the trash can and clothes out of the laundry. Also I love you.
   — night_wolf9






7. I’d take you everywhere with me if I could. You’re such an amazing pet and I love you with all my heart. Also you need to be nicer to other dogs you can go more places if you were!
   — laladeedoo


8. Hey listen you're an asshole, you can be alright but you need to stop waking me u-are you getting any of this down? Are you even paying attention? You're asleep aren't you
   — Goaty-bot


9. I love you and you're the best thing that's happened to me in a long time Also you're a cunt
   — PM_SOME_OBESE_CATS






10. Stop bringing lizards into the house.
    — FalstaffsMind


11. You are safe. You do not need to bark every time you see or hear something outside. Please no more peeing or pooping inside. Please no more nipping when you want our attention, you already have it. Love you.
    — Herogamer555


12. Always come when we call you, it's for your safety. We love you.
    — hopsinduo






13. You're my goodest boy
    — Majestical_Potato


14. Please stop knocking over all of our glasses, jumping on the kitchen counters, and pulling over our trashcans. We shoo you away from these things because they're bad. You're an idiot and an asshole, but I love you so freaking much.
    — mnkymnkyundrpnts


15. Ur mom gay
    — osefisk






16. Breakfast will not be served at the ass crack of dawn, it will be served after the alarm clock wakes me up. Sitting on my chest, yelling at me and smacking me in the nose is not the way we do things.
    — Toofpasties