What's the stupiest thing you've said instead of "Hello" when greeted by a stranger?

1. Used to work in a bead shop so involved a lot of counting. A courier came in to drop something off and said hello, I was concentrating on counting but didn't want to ignore him so yelled out NINE instead of hello.
   — ventyourspleen


2. I once was greeting someone and tried to say a mixture of “how’s it going” and “how ya doing” and I said “How ya gooing?”
   — varyteddle


3. I went to meet a customer for the first time at their office (a "Mr Boyd".) He walks towards me with his hand outstretched. My brain takes a shit into my mouth and I come with "Hello boy."
   — rockweasel






4. I worked at Safeway and we were trained to ask for airmiles and club card with every transaction. Someone came to my register and said hi and I gleefully shouted "CLUB CARD?!". :/
   — _anacantha


5. Driving hours to the US/Can border... Guard: "Citizenship?" Me: "Canadian-ship"
   — JVM_


6. I don't know if this counts. When I was studying I was sitting alone in a bar, reading newspaper. A girl from nearby table approached me, smiling, asking if she can join me. I asked "why"?
   — InternationalStage






7. Walking past a nun in the street. I got completely tongue tied when she said hello. I just replied, morning nun. Horribly cringe worthy.
   — AquaNautautical


8. “How are you?” “16” I thought they said “how old are you” since we hadn’t seen each other in a while I died
   — SomePoshWeeb


9. An old man once said 'lovely morning!' to me, making reference to the beautiful sunshine. I was so convinced that he was just going to say 'hello' that it took me by surprise and I replied 'thanks!' Taking credit for the weather. What a guy I am.
   — jookstevens






10. Went to say “G’day” to my new boss after getting a promotion all that came out was “Gay!” Due to nerves. Gave me a weird look and kept walking. We never spoke of this unpleasantness again.
    — Fitzroyalty


11. Old grade school teacher: Nice to see you again! Me: Yes it is.
    — UncleTrustworthy


12. “Hey” “I remember you from elementary school!” *finger guns* Then I never spoke to her again
    — lokibo






13. I was out with some friends and a waitress approached, greeted us with a "hello you guys" and I replied "hello us" subconsciously. I didn't even notice it until we ordered and my friends jokingly called me an asshole. They also mentioned there was visible anger in the waitresses face.
    — FlmSavage


14. I had just seen the new minion movie and it was still in my head for some reason the next morning at work I said "BELLO" to a guy walking by my desk.. he just burst out laughing and I never lived it down
    — JustifiablyWrong