What is the most absurd thing that someone you know believes in?

1. I go on a mental illness chatroom; one of our regulars is an atheist who believes he is Jesus. There are a few people who believe they're Jesus in some way or another, but atheist Jesus is the weirdest one.
   — Audacious531


2. While watching Interstellar, I found out my mom doesn't believe in Saturn
   — N3MO_


3. This guy I used to date SINCERELY believes that woman do not fart or take shits.
   — palezombies






4. My dad doesn't believe dinosaurs are from here. He believes that they are from other planets that were used to make Earth.
   — looknsharp


5. That Kentucky Fried Chicken changed their name to KFC because the government made them. Because the genetically modified double breasted, four legged, four winged creature they were serving could no longer be legally be called a chicken!
   — mdlewis11


6. I had an ex-coworker who actually believed: * She had a friend who could levitate (she had never seen this in person) * When she put iTunes on random, whatever song came up would be a message from the universe to her (she would skip songs she disagreed with) * We had never landed on the moon * There is a nerve running from the stomach to the brain. If you're not breastfed in infancy, you'll develop autism because of something having to do with this magic nerve. * The Earth might actually be flat * The U.S. government is releasing chemicals into the atmosphere via chemtrails to control the weather I could go on.
   — SexyAbeLincoln






7. The world is flat, surrounded by the "south pole" that the government guards so nobody can get to it. There are no satellites. GPS is just done from land-based stations. The pics from space are fake, we've never been to the moon. Rockets that go high enough will hit the top of our "dome" and bounce off. Musk didn't launch that Tesla in space. There's no such thing as gravity, just "density" (I'm not sure what that means). The sun and the moon just hover around above us in a circle. We just can't see them sometimes because of "perspective". I thought he was joking as he was explaining this to a group of us, but unfortunately he was not. Several years ago, he began acting like your run-of-the-mill conspiracy theorist, but recently he's fallen down the youtube rabbit hole, and apparently believes those weirdos more than actual science. He also has an engineering degree and graduated with honors from a prestigious school (albeit almost 2 decades ago). edit: I forgot, he also told me once that if he gets cancer, he can just go to Mexico and easily cure it from some medicine that "big pharm" is trying to hide.
   — khoggatt


8. vaccines cause autism.
   — wheelchairian


9. I have a coworker who legit believes in ghosts and vampires. However when commenting on how we’d have evidence of vampires due to things like time zone shifts, poor planning in relation to sunrise, or even one of them had to have died in a car accident at some point she shifted her stance and says they all live in Alaska and the waters thereabouts. She’s had this discussion with multiple people including our PR VP.
   — ciredux






10. Flat earth
    — Ta1kativ


11. My crazy ex (and most of her family) believe that "Armaggeddon" (aka "The Great Tribulation") is just around the corner - an event in which their god "Jehovah" will kill 99.9% of the world's population, and spare only the roughly 8 million worldwide members of their cult. They will then inherit "paradise earth", and live happily forever on top of the scorched corpses of the "wordly", unbelieving people. In that "paradise earth", they will be petting lions, tigers and other predatory animals, who suddenly become docile, and vegan. All their dead "loved ones" who had been faithful followers of the organization during their lifetime will also be there, resurrected. Oh, and a select group of "anointed" cult members, exactly 144,000, will go to heaven and rule the "new system" along with Jesus and some angels. It's now been around 150 years (and counting) that their leaders keep telling them that "the end" will happen any time now, like in the next few days, or weeks... But nobody knows for sure. In the meantime, their rank-and-file members are pressured into reporting more and more hours in "field service", knocking on people's doors like traveling salesmen of the 1930s. Every hour reported, and every pamphlet "placed" gives them extra paradise points, and raises their chance to survive "Armaggeddon". Oh, they also oppose blood transfusions, and rather let their children die when in need of that kind of medical intervention. They also shun family members who wake up and try to get out of that toxic cult, or speak up against their leaders (a group of 8 old men, the so-called "Governing Body", who rule over the organization from a luxury compound in upstate NY), or their doctrines. Shunning as in: Treating them as if they don't exist, even if they are their own children, siblings or parents. They also believe that holidays like birthdays, Christmas or Easter are evil. Yet they label themselves as "true Christians". You might have encountered them, maybe they have been knocking on your door, the members of the Watchtower cult: More commonly known as "Jehovah's Witnesses". EDIT: Oops, I almost forgot: They are also currently being investigated in several countries for child sexual abuse, with over 1000 documented cases alone in Australia, and many cases being reported in the US, UK and other places as of late. Looks like just the tip of an iceberg. And while it's not institutional, or systematic (molesting children is not explicitly part of their doctrine), it's definitely *systemic*. Keywords: "Two witness rule", and disregarding / not respecting "wordly" authorities like police or courts.
    — imissapostrophes


12. That Earth is 8000 yo.
    — Arianis-