Ladies of Reddit, what have you done to try to impress a guy, and it backfired?

1. My third grade picture is easily my least favorite school photo for various reasons. I was rocking huge glasses, a snazzy sweater vest and green corduroy shorts combo. I also chose to give my crush this photo complete with my phone number on the back. Naturally as I was leaving after giving him this photo I thought it would be a good idea to turn around and gave him a big ole wink. The memory and the photo still make me cringe.
   — DarthPandaBear


2. 6th grade me would always give my iPod touch to my crush at lunch time so he could play fruit ninja and shit. He’d sit at my desk and we’d talk, it made me really happy. Thought he was starting to like me too because he always rushed over to me before the bell rang. But nope! He was just using me to play on my iPod lol I forgot to bring it one day, he came over, asked where it was and then immediately turned and walked away. I made sure never to forget it again after that. Young me didn’t care that I was being used, I just liked spending time with him.
   — DarlingOlive


3. It’s a party, and me and my date are doing a little grinding/dancing. My date was timid and had been too shy to make any moves, so I figured I’d try to move things along by being sexy. When we when we were dancing, he had been pulling my skort up a little bit, so I turned around and said “Hey, stop pulling my skirt up, you can see what’s under there later but the rest of the party doesn’t have to.” As soon as he heard “Stop pulling my skirt up” and started profusely apologizing and as a result didn’t hear the rest of the sentence at all. For the rest of the night he maintained a modest distance while we danced and definitely did not make any moves. So yeah, I fucked that one up
   — Meowmix1005






4. Asked him to guess what I got for Christmas. I replied with "YOU." He told me he didn't get it. I further emphasised saying he was my Christmas gift, and he still didn't get it. I laugh and cry a little inside every time I think about that conversation.
   — misc_etc


5. Put down other girls/try to make myself look better than other girls. Back in high school I tried so hard to play the whole "I'm not like other girls~ look at me I play video gamez, I don't care about fashion, I'd rather be napping than shopping" card. Then I realized that I needed to get my head out of my ass.
   — starkisttina


6. Semi-NSFW, just a warning. I was dating a new guy at the time and we had just started sleeping together. He was the second person I had ever been with. I got the impression he was more experienced than I was, and I didn’t want to bore him. I got the idea in my head that I should try being on top; surely that would make things more interesting. So we’re in the midst of things one day and instead of initiating and climbing on like a normal person, I tried to overpower him and barrel roll so we wouldn’t have to miss a beat. Apparently I took him by surprise. He slid out, and propped up a leg to hold his balance, and successfully kneed me right in the crotch. That kind of put a damper on things for the next few days.
   — Umasou






7. When I was younger (like 13) I was trying to impress a boy while riding our bikes. We lived in a pretty quiet neighborhood so we didn't really have to worry about cars. I turned to tell him something (can't remember what but I'm sure it was a dumb joke) and did not notice the parked car that I was moving towards. I ended up flipping over the car, landing on the roof and nearly breaking my leg. Bleeding and crying on top of a car ins't a good look for anyone.
   — Chicken__Nuggetz


8. In the 5th grade, I learned that my crush loved reading Goosebumps. My mom would take me to the bookstore every weekend and I could get one book. I was all about the Babysitters Club series at that time and trying to read and catch up on the series. I used up one of my bookstore opportunities to buy a random Goosebumps book. My mom totally knew what was up. She gave me the most skeptical look. I swore it was for me and I was trying something new (I tried reading a chapter and it scared me too much). I decided to give it to him for Valentine’s Day when we all go around dropping cards into our classmates’ bags. I asked the teacher for some cut out hearts. I wrote “TO DEREK, FROM YOUR SECRET ADMIRER” on it. I had my best friend drop it into his brown paper Valentine’s bag. I watched him fish it out, look around the room, and put the book in his backpack. I never confessed it was from me. I think I wanted to, but became way too scared. The following year, he didn’t enroll in the junior high of the same school, so I hadn’t seen him since we were 11.
   — MrsBighead


9. I used to constantly wait for almost all of my crushes. Like, I would stay in school or at work for way longer than needed If I knew that we were going home in the same direction or if I thought that we would get a chance to talk alone. Doesn't sound that bad, but I would do it all the damn time even if it was really inconvenient. Needless to say, I wasn't very productive, especially considering the fact that I also used to spend the resulting small amounts of free time thinking about these people. Edit: thanks, ladies (and gentlemen), now I too feel better about this whole being a low-key creep thing 😁
   — giorgionaprymer






10. Because I'm the idiot of the year when it comes to crushes, I set him up on a blind date with a friend. I was in my 30s. Yeah, he's happily married now. Fortunately for my self-reprimanding, not to her. Also, when I was 16, I did doughnuts in front of my then-crush's house in my parent's minivan with a car full of friends. One friend reached down and hit the gas pedal. I hit the curb, and the decorative rim from a tire came off. I stopped the van, got out, picked up the rim, and threw it in a nearby trashcan, waved and smiled at him, then drove off casually. My parents didn't notice for a few months, thankfully. I wonder where he is now?
    — Cejarrood


11. In my defense: I was a lot younger when I did this and realize now, very well, how creepy and cringy it was. Gifts. All the time, gifts. I'd want him to know I was "thinking" (probably closer to obsessing) about him, and wanted him to think of me every time he looked at whatever lame unwanted thing I had picked up this time. Oh he has a dog? We talked about dogs? I'll buy him a plush dog. That way he'll know I *listen* to him., UGH. WTF was WRONG with you, Younger Self? I didn't realize how creepy it was, until it happened to me. This was a guy I was actually dating, tho for just a couple months. I was thinking of breaking it off anyway, because he was just trying too hard way too fast. I was working 2nd shift at the time so home about midnight. He had a habit of just coming over. Sometimes that was ok, sometimes I just wanted a beer and a bath and a bed, alone, and not talk to anyone. But no, he would just show up. One night I get a text from him: Look outside your door. I lived in apartments with a secured entrance. I opened my apartment door and there was a card and a rose. From him. How the fuck did he even get in? Followed someone in probably. I sent him a generic text that was basically just "thanks, going to bed now". He texts back "Look outside your window". And there he is parked in the parking lot. I went down and screamed at him. Not my finest moment but I hadn't planned on company anyway, he never asked or even called first, just showed up, and now I didn't feel loved or paid attention to, I felt watched and stalked. He was just trying to be romantic and creative. I'm sorry to all the guys out there that my younger self gave the creeps. Karma got me in the end.
    — finmeister


12. I lost half my weight to impress a guy who used to call me a whale. He then started calling me a dry pickled fish.😤 😥
    — buttercup987






13. In 2003 a friends older brother asked if I like LOTR. I was 17 and enthusiastically proclaimed my appreciation for the series. He asked me out to see Return of the King the following night, and I was stoked. Thing is, I had never seen any of the movies and wasn't particularly interested. But he was cute, so I set off to Blockbuster (yep, back when they still existed) to find the movieS and stayed up all night to watch them. It was painful for me, they aren't my thing at all. The next afternoon I was on my way to meet him at the theater, exhausted and barely functioning, I rear-ended a police officer. I did not make it to the movie theater, and my date refused to believe what really happened. He never asked me out again.
    — ohitsjustval