People with high social skills. What’s the biggest mistake that people often make in interactions with others?

1. Talking about yourself too much. I'm constantly reminding myself not to do this and i find that when i succeed in shutting up i have much more meaningful interactions with people and they seem to want to talk to me again. Also, one-upping is a huge turn-off for almost everyone. If someone tells you something cool they did, acknowledge and ask more questions about it, don't tell the story about the thing you did that was cooler, especially if you just met or are getting to know the person.
   — CaptainTRIPS0690


2. Thinking about what their response is going to be instead of actually listening to the person talking.
   — lakeshow555


3. My fiance has insane conversational and social skills. Mistakes he avoids: * Going all in on a controversial topic. There is a time and place to debate, and generally your everyday social situation is not one of them. Absolutely, politics can be discussed, but if someone mentions how they voted for Trump responding with, "He is the absolute worst embarrassment this country has ever had" is not going to be received well. * Making the conversation about him. He has a great memory, and will bring up things for the other person to talk about ("How's your daughter liking school? Is she in first grade now?") and share a few things ("My daughter's in kindergarten, she really likes it") but keep the focus primarily on the other person. * Missing social cues. When someone is looking bored or disinterested, he ends the conversation. Don't keep people trapped. * Getting distracted. When he's talking, he's not looking at his phone, he's not looking around the room, he's engaging with the person.
   — sparrow125






4. Dont try to be what you're not. Not only you will be sad, but it's obvious. Just be who you are. Dont overthink interaction. People are people. Some are cunts yeah. But most of us are regular person.
   — Erzurum


5. Being able to function socially has a lot to do with knowing what **not** to say.
   — dr0ne6


6. If you're in the middle of having a (friendly) argument with someone, patiently listen to their point and preface with "Here's why I don't agree with that: blah blah blah". Don't cut them off with a "No" and go into your point. I've seen many people do this and find it very annoying and disrespectful when someone tries to cut one off in the middle of speaking.
   — rayven1lk






7. Don't think too hard about what you'll say. Learn what your style is and own it. Funny, knowledgeable, awkward, shy, etc - all of this are qualities that build up your persona. Learn what your persona is and follow it, don't try to be someone you're not - that makes you seem lost and out of place in a conversation.
   — Arbaks


8. Talking too much while being unable to read their crowd. High social skills come with practice, trial/error and failures. Very, very few people are born into the ability to read a group and become someone worth listening to. Many people had to learn the hard way. I started as an asocial nerd with no friends, now I hold low content/high converse presentations and go to toastmasters. I'm still a nerd at heart, but thankfully making friends is made easier by being someone that others can look at as 'somebody who knows what socializing is'.
   — Mr_Mori


9. Having the preconceived notion going into a situation that you’ll be rejected or won’t be liked will affect your body language and your dialogue and will most likely cause people to be standoffish towards you. Same goes for the opposite. Act as if, and so you shall be. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy
   — SlipperyPete360






10. I feel like being overly friendly with someone that you barely know is a big mistake. It feels intrusive and at times even creepy.
    — SafeRamen


11. Monopolizing the conversation. I guarantee if you're talking more than your share, not only are you annoying the people you're talking to, and missing out on what they would have said, but you're also going to run out of worthwhile things to say and will wind up talking in shitposts.
    — Zer0Summoner


12. As someone who still has a degree of social anxiety but is also very outgoing and enjoys meeting new people, it's thinking too much about the situation. It's pretty standard advice; just relax and be yourself. Problem is, once the thoughts start flowing, it's very difficult to stop. The thing is, you have to learn to control those thoughts whilst also learning to simply let go and be outcome independent. The best days / nights of my life are when I genuinely haven't given a damn. Easier said than done, and I've been there many times, but yeah...thinking too much is going to do more harm than good. If only I could take this mindset with me for dating / women, then I'd be golden!
    — xGwynbleidd93x






13. Being genuine. Honestly, if you are found faking your interest, knowledge of something, purpose etc. it is very damaging to the conversation and overall interaction if/when discovered. I really enjoy meeting people who are open and honest and its a very positive quality to own.
    — ahatforAlice