Job interviewers of Reddit, what's the most stupid thing an interviewee ever said to you on a job interview?

"Are you punctual?" "I'm usually about 15 minutes late." He was 20 minutes late to the interview.
— AnnoyingEditor

She immediately started interviewing me. It was super weird. She just walked in and started asking so many questions I couldn't get a word in edgewise. And it wasn't like legitimate questions. She was quizzing me about things in the brochure to see if I knew the answers! The interview ended without me asking her a single question. To this day I still wonder if I was on a candid camera episode that never aired.
— pm-me-puppypics

"How many no-call, no-shows do I get?" She did not get the job
— thelightishred1

I was doing a phone technical interview, and I could hear the guy typing stuff as I was asking him questions. So I asked him something he should know, but isn’t really something you could easily google. *clackity clackity clack* [long pause] > Ummm, I don’t know. I can’t find it on google. *facepalm*
— littlegreenb18

I had a candidate tell me all of the ways he used to sneak off at his old job to avoid doing work. My favorite was the nap he took on the floor (during normal business hours) in the family restroom of his old job. #GottaLoveRetail
— WinkWink726

My Dad had one, he was interviewing candidates for an accountant job. One guy came in 30 minutes late, dressed informally, reeked of weed, and was slurry. My Dad asked him why he would think he'll get the job. Candidate show my Dad a picture, it was the CEO of the company-"He's my Dad." No, he did not get the job. Why? Because my Dad was the only accountant in that company for 5 years and he was looking for competent people.
— theboyintherocks

Opening line: “I’ll be honest with ya...I sling a little weed.”
— Taco_air_is_heavy

I, unfortunately, wasn’t in the room for this but we do an interview recap every night during recruiting so I heard the story and it still makes me laugh. Candidate was talking about work he did installing light poles with concrete bases composed of a new mix. When asked if they did any strength testing on the mix, he replied “well, no, but I kicked it really hard and it hurt, so it was strong.”
— hometowngypsy

I asked him if he had anything else to add to the interview before we finished. He shrugged and said: "I'm hung like a field mouse." Me: "Uuuhhh, I'll note that on your resume."
— newtekie1

I once asked a candidate a variant of the usual, "what are some of your weaknesses" questions. She responded with "Pass" and firmly stared back at me. I will never forget her. And no, she did not get the job. Bonus: Another candidate once listed "Proficient in Internet Explorer" on their resume. I won't forget that one, either.
— meowmix808808

Teacher here, often on interview committees as I'm a department chair. I have a ton of good (or bad, depending on how you look for it) stories, but this one stands out. First question was a standard "tell us about yourself." Interviewee started talking about his mother's accolades and personality and continued for close to 5 minutes. Eventually, the principal cut him off to remind him that we were not interested in his mother's abilities. He apologized and immediately gave us information about himself--the usual, such as talking about going through a "bad spot" in college, dropping out, gaining a lot of weight ("got up to 260 pounds!"), etc. Ended the question by reassuring us that he's ok now because "he's down to 187 now." In talking about classroom management, he said that he "won't stand for disrespectful students. If they want to be disrespectful, they can just drop out." Hmm. Interesting stance for someone trying to teach at a low-income, high drop-out risk school.
— CoffeeAndCroissant

My boss (female, relevant in a sec) told me this story of a guy that showed up a little late to the interview with full on gym clothes on and slams down a gallon jug on the table and says "Sorry im late, my girlfriend drives really slow... heh... women, right?" my boss: "do you wanna try that again?" Him: ".... nah" they had to complete the entire interview due to the way our opportunity laws are even though she knew she wasn't going to hire him.
— Bduck_quack

I asked the candidate what attracted him to this analytical marketing position. "I'm analytical to a fault. Even outside of work." he said I liked that answer so I asked if he could go into more detail. "When I go to a bar, and I see a beer that is like 8% alcohol and another that is like 5% alcohol, I always choose the 8% one."
— FellowRockPusher

I told him we would be getting back to him in a few days after we had a chance to check if he was insurable, made some calls to his contacts and did a background check. You know, standard stuff. He got quiet. He asked if he could "get real with me". "Ah, OK". That's when he took his shirt off. I was like, where is this going. He showed me some stab wounds that he got when he was a teenager (nom-sayin), which is why he was on pain meds (nom-sayin), which is why he got on "laundry list of drugs" (nom-sayin), which is why he had his kids taken away a few years ago after a traffic stop (nom-sayin). So if I found that stuff, that's why. "Oh, and if I haven't gone to my court date for something that doesn't show up, right?" What is the court date for? "They said I stole somfin from the last job I had...but I didn't." I praised his honesty, then moved on to the next interview.
— High_PlainsDrifter

Former interviewer, but now I work in on-boarding and immigration. I always love that whenever I mention a background check is a part of the on-boarding process, everyone seems to take it as go ahead to reveal everything they've ever done that might even remotely show up on the check. I'm just sitting there letting them spill their guts and thinking *TMI TMI TMI* over and over again.
— crispy111

I had a guy walk in wearing a denim vest, jeans and black fingerless gloves. Interview went okay but he was super awkward. 10 minutes after the interview his mom came in asking to speak with the sweet, pretty young lady who made her son feel so good about himself.....worst part - she was wearing a matching outfit, right down to the fingerless gloves.
— Shrimpheavennow227

Top 10 Answers