If you could have coffee with your 14 year old self, what would he/she be most surprised to hear about you?

If you could have coffee with your 14 year old self, what would he/she be most surprised to hear about you?

That I can finally grow a mustache, and once I grew the mustache I'd realize that I don't look good in a mustache.
— TRex_N_Truex

your penis is gonna stay the same size
— blurr62

That I now enjoy coffee - he'd be disgusted in me
— dounodawei

That I have little to nothing to do with computers. I teach Whitewater kayaking and Skiing I live out of my truck for most of the year And I get paid to play games and go camping. 14 y/o me “But did you ever get Obsidian armor in Guild Wars” Yes, yes I did
— TinyHomeGnome

"Well, you need to start eating more healthier food and go to regular check ups at the doctor because you're not gonna like what happens to you at 25." Edit: btw, I'm not overweight. I'm 128 pounds.
— throwdownhooligan

That obnoxious girl sitting across from you in study hall that won't let you read quietly in peace, you're going to marry her.
— FencingJester

That I'm not a famous artist / musician / author / anyone of importance really. Not that I was dead set on ever working towards any of those things necessarily, but I've always had, in the back of my head, the idea that I would.
— HueyLewisAndTheShoes

"You start playing DnD, hang out with the loser kids, and watch anime. But, at last, you'll be happy."
— JonathanTheOddHuman

That the girl failing math tests now works in the statistics division of the Department of Labor. She would be APPALLED.
— nuclearoyster

If we allow things he'd be shocked to see, it would probably be how fast my hairline receded. 14 year old me had shoulder length hair. 23 year old me has been bald for several years. If we're being strict that it has to be something he hears, probably the fact that I work for NASA.
— Mahedros

that I'm married to a guy she's currently in love with
— Glum_Site

14 year old me would be surprised that I am in college (I never wanted to go to college), that I speak Spanish, and that she will have a new little sister at 23.
— Iseeasong

That I didn’t spend everything I had on bitcoin, 14 year old me better fucking take the hint
— repspls

This thread has made me realize that 14 year old me and 29 year old me are basically the same. I go to school or work. Then come home and play video games with my friends. Only real difference is I'm married and she's always my player 2.
— pcx226