What is your personal “I was a little shit” story from your childhood?

1. One day my best friend and I went around the neighborhood cutting everyone’s flowers, we put them in a basket and then went around the neighborhood knocking on doors trying to sell people their own flowers...
   — dustbunnee


2. When I was around 10, I had a baby sitter who was pretty mean. One day I climbed up on the roof and started yelling "help me" down the chimney. She heard the screaming and went to the fireplace and tried to look up. I then dropped water balloons down the chimney. You wouldn't believe the mess, her face and hair was covered with wet soot. I definitely got the belt when my parents arrived home but... I would have to say it was worth it at the time. She never came back, and life went on.
   — Keeepster


3. We had several fruit trees in our front yard, including a fig tree. Basically, all the gross fruits that make a mess. Somewhere around the age of 3 or 4, I got the idea that if I threw them over the 8 ft fence that lined my yard, I would get rid of the mess (it was so gross, I still can't look at figs). So when the fruit would naturally fall, I'd pick it up and toss it over the fence. One day, my neighbor happened to be working in his garden directly on the other side. I was tossing over some figs, and apparently pelted him with rotten fruit. Up to this point, I had never met my neighbor (and never really given consideration to what might be on the other side of the fence) but was quickly given an introduction when he came over to our gate, bust it open, and was ready to skin me alive. My mom was able to calm him down and he eventually left (I presume to go take a shower). She then explained to me that throwing things over the fence did *not* make them disappear. For years I was terrified of the neighbor afterward, but it wasn't until I was an adult that I realized just how shitty I was for throwing fruit over the fence.
   — starzazzo3987






4. When I was little and I did something I knew was about to earn me a spanking, my mother would pick up to turn me over her knee, and I would just go deadweight. I knew she could not hold me when I did that. She would vainly attempt to pick me up a few more times before getting frustrated and leave me alone.
   — yugogrl2000


5. When I was 6 or 7 my parents got a dog. It was a puppy so it needed to be trained. One day it had peed on my bed which made me FURIOUS so I decided to fight fire with fire and pee on the dog. I know that's SUPER fucked up and I feel bad about it now, but it actually produced results because the dog never peed in the house again.
   — intoxicatedavenger


6. When I was in pre-school or what ever you call it, I used to try and convince the other kids that their parents were dead and didn't come back.
   — DogM34_t






7. When I was in primary school, I once went to an event at school, where there were fun activities set up after school. It was getting late, at about 7-9 in the evening and the sky was dark. I decided to hide in a bush for a reason I can't remember. I was about 9 years old IIRC, and three teenagers came along, near the bush. Now at that age, I enjoyed making demon screeches and demonic, unholy sounding voices, and scaring people. Anyway, one of them said, "Is that a kid?", while they were slowly approaching, like they were afraid. Also, I was a small child, and I think I might have looked like a ghost or something. So I smiled until they came a bit closer, and I did this Eldritch, unholy scream that would have destroyed my throat if I did it at my age now, and jumped out at them. They ran away screaming as fast as they could. That was possibly one of my favorite moments in my entire life.
   — EvilEyeDen


8. Oh, I have one. I was a very well-behaved child, but there is a true little shit in all of us. When I was in elementary school, my parents would sometimes let me spend the night at my grandma's on Thursdays. I was super happy because my parents were rather strict, while my grandma would let me do whatever I wanted (like drinking soda, eating sugary snacks, and watch Sailor Moon in TV). Well, I had also discovered an interesting loophole: my grandma would let me eat enough junk food that, come the night, I would vomit it all on the bed. This meant no school for the rest of the week, because obviously I was sick. I was very satisfied with my ruse. Now, as an adult, I realize that my poor parents just wanted to have one damn night of dinner, sex, sleep, and they had to be interrupted in the middle of it by the phone call "the girl is sick, come get her". Also, my poor grandma, who just wanted time with her grandkid, had to change the vomity sheets every damn time. After three-four rounds of this my parents forbade the sweets also at Grandma's house, and the problem was solved.
   — MintakaEK


9. A story my dad told me about when he was a child. Whenever he'd get in trouble, his dad would spank him with a thick leather belt. Well he got the bright idea that if there was no belt, there'd be no spankings. Thus hatched his devious plan. He snuck into his parent's room late one night and stole the belt. But what to do with it now that it was in his possession...Aha! Hide it someplace where it can never hurt him anymore! He searched high and low and finally settled on a place no sane man would ever go. The back tank of the toilet. In went the belt, and my father's shame. Then he waited. Quite some time passed, and his father looked all over for that belt, but alas, it was too well hidden. Finally, something went wrong with the commode that required the utmost urgency. Off came the lid of the tank, and his dad's jaw hit the floor. "*What the hell?!*" he screamed, and fished out the poor remains of his belt, many, *many* times larger than it had been going in. And that is but one story of how my dad was a little bastard growing up.
   — CatfishToes






10. In like 1st grade I was the leader of a “gang” and we would pick on and fight other little kids. I also remember there was this one kid I picked on mercilessly. I wish I remembered his name so I could apologize.
    — curburdepression


11. Mom dressed me in a pair of pants I didn’t like because they were itchy and too tight. We were going to a party or something and running late so she wouldn’t let me put on a different pair. So I peed in them.
    — mdnightwriter


12. My mom's car had a little door behind the center console in the back seat that opened into the trunk. When I didn't want to go to school I would open that door and climb into the trunk so when she pulled into the school she had to get out of the car, open the trunk, and get me out of there. I didn't realize until much later how this must have looked.
    — guale






13. As a child I was able to get out of child proof seat belts while my mum was driving on motorways and stuff, she didn't want to stop because it was a motorway so she just let me roam around. Also I had a habit of ripping number plates of my family's cars when I played on their driveway.
    — Mr_Will_


14. Me and a friend tagged an entire detached garage with spray paint cans we slowly took, over the course of a few weeks, from neighboring garages. Yes, it was a planned attack and some of the tags were very vulgar. We were 12 or so. We knew in advance when the owner would be out of town. We were never formally caught.
    — KilroyBrown


15. At 11 my friends and I figured out how to use certain bread tags to clean out candy machines. We'd roller blade to the mall and grocery store with a pillow case and clean a few out. There were certain models that were easier than others but we got it to a science. Cut to the proper angle the tag would remain in the slot and we could turn the knob continuously until it was empty. Back in the 90s. Not sure if it'd still work.
    — bcmonke