What is the funniest insult you heard a kid tell another?

1. Used to be a preschool teacher, had an angry three year old call me a "chicken nugget butt fighter."
   — PearEaterSo


2. Not another kid, but I was trading SFW insults with my friend's son who must have been like 5 years old at the time- I was in my thirties. He told me, "I'm going to wait until there's three cars coming, and push you in the road." Same family- Same vacation actually, but this was his younger sister- She had drawn a picture of me and titled it "Dumb." In the picture I had this happy little smile. "If I'm so dumb, why am I happy?" I asked her. "Because you don't know any better."
   — blind30


3. My eight-year-old granddaughter told her older brother the only way he'd ever hurt himself during an activity is if the TV exploded.
   — challam






4. "You look like something that came out of a slow cooker!" We had no clue what that meant, but we had to stop and take a moment of silence for that roast.
   — hjohns95


5. “Your face looks like the floor of the cafeteria after lunch.” Don’t know why, but that killed me.
   — Moneyball99


6. You see that door! I want you on the other side of that door! she is just 3 years old.
   — joancena2






7. Heard kids arguing whose parents has cooler cars one kid yells my dad has a BMW and my mom has a Murano. Without missing a beat other kid yells "Thats cuz your mom's a morono".
   — Dogpicsordie


8. Younger son told older son "haha you're as funny as a turtle!" Older son: "I don't get it, turtles aren't funny?" Younger son: "Exactly." They were like 5 & 7 at the time. I still laugh when I think about it...
   — noyogapants


9. My siblings had a phase when “pinecone” was the worst insult ever. Calling each other a pinecone would result in screaming and crying. One brother tried using it on another kid at the playground and got no reaction, because....it’s not a real insult. Edit: You’re blowing up my inbox, you buncha pinecones.
   — ActualGuesticles






10. When my son was 4 at the playground to another kid: "Get back here, ya' blender". No fucking idea why that was the word he chose.
    — biga204


11. Not quite "kids" per se but I remember in high school listening to a bunch of the special ed students roasting each other when of of them said this to one of his friends: "You're a toilet Steve...it's time to flush the handle." The whole table erupted into laughter. I still consider listening to a special ed roast session to be one of the great privileges of my life.
    — schnit123


12. "I hope Santa brings you a book of manners." My 6 year old after I laughed at her about something and she wasn't laughing.
    — Robert-Hall






13. 4 year old to 4 year old: maybe your mum should have done a better job raising you
    — Lookitsmonsterki


14. *"The only thing your Dad lifts is a bottle."*
    — InternetKidsAreMean


15. Kind of tangential to the question, but I was babysitting my niece (7 at the time), and we were play-arguing. Out of nowhere she says, "You're a silly little boy, and you'll never go to space." I was 26 at the time and I've never felt so personally attacked.
    — ExtraMediumGonzo