What’s the most savage insult you heard that made you go “holy shit”?

1. When Roseann said Tom Arnold had a small penis he responded with..."even a 747 looks small when it's landing in the grand canyon"
   — firefighter2124


2. To the son of recently divorced parents. "You have to live with your dad because your mom won the custody battle."
   — nothingbeatsbananas


3. Someone pointed out how small my hands were for someone my height, and I said, "At least it makes my dick look bigger." To which their response was, "Oh, so now it's only slightly less than average?"
   — Crypto7899






4. Gordon Ramsay once told a self-proclaimed chef that he "Had never ever ever ever ever met someone I believe in as little as you." Which is pretty low considering how many people he has met that were awful at their jobs
   — Darth_Nitsua


5. I was getting ready to take a shower and I told my wife, "Well, I'm off to wash away my sins." Her response was, "Don't do that, dear. There'll be nothing left of you afterward."
   — Mistah-Jay


6. Heard someone say “last time your dad actually played with you was when you were in his balls”
   — UnsharpenedMolar






7. In seventh grade algebra class I was talking and giggling with my girlfriends while we were supposed to be working on an assignment (like annoying teenage girls are prone to do) and the Italian exchange student, who had never uttered a word prior to that day, turned to me and loudly said, “Shut up, you lonely girl. We can all feel how cold and insecure you are.” Ouch.
   — kitteh-gaga


8. Heard this when I went to a David sedaris reading. Apparently the people in Transylvania will say this to people who cut them off in traffic (although it's been about a month, so I may have it a bit wrong: "stick your hand up your ass and jerk of your own shit." Jesus Christ, Transylvania. Dial it back.
   — saoirse24


9. "I can see why your uncle stopped molesting you."
   — BedWedOrBehead






10. "You're so retarded your family tree must be a circle" "You have more dick in your personality than you do in your pants" "You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard"
    — RandomPerson696


11. Was sitting in a waiting room, and thus guy was arguing with someone on his phone who I assumed was his ex girlfriend... While sitting next to his current gf/baby mama. And he said something like this over the phone. "*blah blah blah* And that's why your parents don't love you and kicked you out, that's why I left you, that's why you lost your job, and that's why you're homeless and live in your fucking van!" Acted like I didn't hear anything, but on the inside I was like "HOLY SHIT HE HAS NO CHILL"
    — Endgam3r


12. Someone was bragging about tickets to the “gun show” and showing off his muscles. Someone asked him if he found them in the small arms locker.
    — Platypushat






13. When my friend was arguing with his mom, she said "If I had known you would be this much trouble, I would have rather had an abortion." I wanted to fucking deck the woman for making a comment like that, especially to her own son's face.
    — PianoManGidley


14. Some girl in my class to another girl: "You'd need to be death 6 months to fit in that dress!" I almost choked.
    — Jav1205


15. Sword Art Online Abridged when Kirito stabs Rosalia and she goes, "Enjoy this while you can: it's the deepest you'll ever be in a woman."
    — peargarden