What is the most hypocritical thing your parents have ever said?

1. "Stop fucking swearing." Or being told to stop hitting each other or we'll get a skelp.
   — PapaFern


2. My mom hated wealthy people and she banned all those '80s shows that glamourized wealth when I was a kid. When I got engaged to a rich girl, she accused me of marrying for money instead of love. Fast forward a few years. When her new boss put the moves on her, she divorced dad and is now flaunting her new found wealth like a long lost Kardashian.
   — laterdude


3. My parents would yell at me all the time for how messy the house was. I was never able to have friends over, or go to other friend's houses because that would mean that they would want to come to our house which was always a disaster. This made it really hard to make friends because it meant that I couldn't go anywhere after school. Our house has been "under construction" since 1995. My dad would start a project but would never finish it. That added to the mess. I always kept my room fairly clean but there wasn't much I could do to help the rest of the house because of construction. Anyway, I moved out of the house at 18 because I couldn't deal with the rest of my family anymore. I've been back home several times over the years and the house has never gotten clean. I moved to Colorado a year and a half ago and was able to go back home about a month ago. I went home after having not lived there for 9 years. The house was worse than I had ever seen it. They're legitimate hoarders now. Instead of them cleaning and throwing away stuff, they just built more shelves in order to fit more crap. Their computer desk still had the same crt monitor from when I grew up, and I assume the same tower(I couldn't see it through all the garbage on the desk) but instead of cleaning off the desk and all the papers and garbage, they just pushed the garbage back and put a new laptop on top of the garbage and worked around it. There's small walkways through the house and hallways to get from one room to another. Some of the stuff I left in my childhood closest hasn't moved an inch since I left. They're beyond help at this point I think. I confronted my mom about it and she looked ashamed, but just said don't let your father hear you talking about the house like that. So I guess it wasn't an actual hypocritical statement, but I think it's hypocritical enough to share. And honestly I just needed to vent about that. I got shit on for as long as I can remember for a dirty house but it was them the whole time.
   — mrking944






4. That I drink too much. This is quoting my mother as she stumbles down the passageway with a glass of wine in her hand.
   — MrSuperSaiyan


5. My mother complained that my grandmother died at an early age because she didn't take care of herself and took too many unnecessary health risks - coming from the person who smokes a pack of cigarettes a day and gets drunk every night after work.
   — Skulldetta


6. "You are a young and independent girl. You don't have to ask permission to sleep at a friends place" I say I'm going to visit a friend and sleep at their place. "You can't do that! You didn't ask for permission" They do this every damn time
   — PsychoticLaughs






7. Telling me to defend myself if I'm being hit by another kid. When I did they got word from it they were angry at me. When their "friends'" kids hit me, I was yelled at if even I thougth raising my hand to defend myself. That lead to me being beat up constantly at school ... why defend myself. I had to leave the house to understand I had to throw away their educationand become me. This is not how you raise a kid.
   — Faucheuses


8. Mom used to scold and ridicule me for playing too much video games. Years later, she spends most of her waking moments glued to her phone playing Bejeweled.
   — TheRealDogmeat


9. My mom once called me son of a whore..... I come from a Spanish speaking country and the insult, hijo de puta (son of a whore), is heavily used in Spanish speaking countries. So, I was about 14 years old when she said that to me. My face was like :0. Then I said: you know you’re insulting yourself, right? Then she proceeded to get angrier at me.
   — juanandonly9






10. My dad once corrected my regional dialect when I was speaking to my son... Uh, who do you think taught me to speak like that, Dad?
    — peace-and-bong-life


11. My mom tried to talk me into leaving my husband while he deals with some severe mental issues, until he can "get himself together." But god forbid my dad not be there right next to her when she had breast cancer scares, or wait on her hand and foot when she had pneumonia or was on bed rest with my brother.
    — merpancake


12. My dad used to rant and rave about nepotism in the workplace, and then he hired my sister straight out of University.
    — nurseclank






13. Technically not my parent but my MIL is a hardcore JW. Her daughter (my SIL) got pregnant a 15, MIL told her that if she got an abortion she would be completely disowned from the family. SIL didn't want to keep the baby but was pressured into keeping it otherwise she would LITERALLY be barefoot and pregnant living on the streets. ~30 years later~ SIL has done really well for herself but has a very difficult relationship with her daughter because of the 'religion/cult'. Last year MIL and I met up and had dinner, the conversation got very deep and she admitted to me that she had deliberately tried (and succeeded) to abort a baby because it was 'bad timing' for her several years ago. So: it's ok for her to abort a baby, at home, without any medical supervision because it's 'not convenient'; but when her daughter wants to get a procedure done under medical supervision that is a 'crime against God' Fuck. That!
    — Imtheonewhodiddleys