Due to a programming glitch, ALL of Twitter is now following you. What is your first tweet?

1. "Want to learn how I got 328 million Twitter followers? Buy my ebook for only $49.95!"
   — captainmagictrousers


2. Guys this is the weirdest bug ever, I don't even have a twitter account.
   — aintnufincleverhere


3. send nudes
   — electrelephant






4. "I suppose you're wondering why I gathered you all here today."
   — peezle69


5. They're = "They are." Their = "This is their car." There = "It's parked over there."
   — headhouse


6. I am NOT the Messiah!
   — sietemeles






7. Can we all agree that Swedish fish flavored Oreos were a bad idea
   — Mute_Moth


8. Buy Bitcoin
   — accuracyfree


9. Jack White is the "female" vocalist in Electric Six's "High Voltage"
   — DanHero91






10. Excuse poor english for i am russia When were you when cummy die? 'Cummy is die' 'No' And you?????????
    — PapaBorg


11. Why the hell don’t I have the 280 character limit yet?
    — JerrySpringer14


12. I would first contact a massive corporation and get them to pay me to promote their company to 328 million people
    — Ron_Textall






13. new phone, who dis?
    — thoawaydatrash