Parents, what do you know about your kids that they don't think you know?

1. That the reason we had to fork out over 3k in repairs on our truck was because my oldest took it mudding when he was 16. Wet, soupy, sloppy mud and it fucked up the drive shaft and other things. He has no idea I know, but his partner in crimes dad told me. This wasn't an old truck, either. Dinged the paint job, too. He's 26 now and I'm saving the reveal for when I'm old and he wants to put me in a home lol
   — katgib13


2. Not a parent but I wrote a note when I was 12 or so saying some random shit to my family ("I love you", "I still resent you for eating my cake", etc.) and detailing what needed to be done in case I died. I wrote it as a kind of last will and testament, just in case I was suddenly hit by a car or something hell knows what I was thinking. Just after I wrote it Dad spontaneously treated me to a nice day out, complete with fancy dinner and presents. I reckon he found it and thought it was some kind of suicide note.
   — not_thedrink


3. She’s a toddler, closest I can come here is I know when she’s faking a cry. She is really, really bad at it.
   — damnburglar






4. My son washed his own bedding for the first time ever a couple weeks ago. He's also 12.
   — Korady


5. My 13 year old daughter has a kindle account on crest card. She sticks to her budget but doesn’t know I get the emailed receipts of what she buys. In public - she has very cool taste. But in the middle of the night she secretly binges on ‘hello kitty’. She would be mortified if she found out I know
   — lowhangingfruitcake


6. My daughter comes off as a saint at home. She refuses to say the word "hell" in front of me. She swears like a truck driver on social media. She doesn't know that I know what her online persona is.
   — BigMacFly






7. I saved a letter I found in the trash can that my daughter had written. She was a mad about something I didn't let her do and in the letter she called me a dick and a punk bitch and some other stuff. She was probably 12 or 13 at the time so the shit was hilarious. I've been hanging on to it for a while to wait on the right time to bring it back out. Maybe when she goes to college or something.
   — voodoo_zero


8. One of my friends in high school loved to party but had insanely strict parents. Strict to the point that she wasn't allowed to have sleep overs and the latest curfew she ever got was 11:00. Everyone always used to think this was unfair cause her older brother had a late curfew, could sleep at anyone's house casually and even would joke about how bad his fake ID was with his parents. Anyways, whenever we partied she would play hopscotch with the line between blacking out and browning out. Every time we would drop her off at her house, usually at 10:30, point her to the door and watch her stumble in, thinking the whole time "whelp she's done for". With out fail we would always get a text the next morning along the lines of "thanks for dropping me off, my parents didn't even notice". The summer before I went to college we were telling stories around a fire and she and her brother were there. Someone brought up how it was a miracle that she had never gotten caught and her brother started cracking up. We all asked him what was so funny and he said that every weekend she would stumble into the living room at 10:30, try to have a conversation with their parents but mutter absolute gibberish and then stumble into bed. No one in the family ever said anything to her because they thought it was better that she assumed they were strict and they wanted to know what she was getting up to. I've surfed with her dad a few times and rather than being strict he's one of the mellowest dads I've ever met. TL;DR My friend thought she could sober up in an instant because her parents never said anything about her being drunk the next morning. They knew the whole time and went with it so they could know what she was up to.
   — Tennarkippi


9. I tell my kids stories every night at bed time. When I'm out of town I record them and send them across so they can listen in their beds. Being spoiled, they each have an iPad they use to listen to them. Being pretty young, they somehow don't realize I know how to use an iPad better than them. They each have the same 'recorder' app I used to record the clips so they can play them back, and they think I'll never find the other stuff they record in there. Being awesomely sweet kids, they have recorded a series of their own stories on the down low for me to listen to at some point. I don't know when they started doing it but it's crazy cute. I just started listening to what looked like a random clip the other day when I heard them conspiring on the tape to keep it a secret. I stopped at that point. My wife claims to know nothing about it. It may be a Christmas present or something. Either way I'll be happy one day when they surprise me with their stories.
   — billbapapa






10. When my five year old puts on his Batman costume, he thinks that I don't know that it's really him. Child, I birthed you. And Bruce Wayne is not 3' 8".
    — MockTrialwJReinhold


11. When I was 16 I used to sneak out of my house at night to enjoy the thrills of underage drinking and hang out with my secret boyfriend and such. I kept a stool in the bushes under my window to help me get back inside my room after each outing. One night I got back and the stool was just gone. A mystery! I had to have the boyfriend come back and hoist me into my room. The next morning my dad gave me some side eye and asked, "did you sleep well last night?" Then proceeded to make me do yard work all day
    — babardook